inspiration

This Day At the Vicarage 8-31-20

/ joseph elon lillie / 9 Comments

Yesterday I preached at Cornerstone Church in WInchendon, A message called “A Message For the Moment.” After church one of our parishioniers came over to the Vicarage to look at the dormers atop the house to see if he might be able to fix them for me before winter. The meeting took all of 15 minutes making me right on time to fix lunch for Mom.

After lunch the sabbath slump hit me. It came as it always does, a sudden rush of weariness that left me able to do almost nothing but lay on the couch sliding in and out of sleep. At three I walked the dogs and then took a short ride with Amanda around the area to see sites. We stopped by the mountain to take a few pics.

When we got back I had just enough energy to make supper before my body crashed once again. The rest of the night was spent watching TV on the couch. I rested. I practiced sabbath.

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I have long had a love/hate relationship with this discipline called sabbath. I think I have struggled with it because of what sabbathing requires of me….because of what resting requires of me. Most of the people around me approach the Sabbath and the act of sabbathing as a day off, a day to have fun. They get to their day off. They go to the beach. They rake the lawn. They have friends over for a barbecue. They go and visit gramma. They go to Maine for the afternoon…..Meanwhile I crawl into bed and sleep for twelve hours. A really active sabbath for me is to lay on the couch and watch TV for eight hours after my nap, like I did yesterday.

Now there is a piece of me that is good with this. That piece of me knows I need this if I am to function the rest of the week like a normal human being. But there is a piece of me that really struggles to be like all the people around me. I want to be the guy who gets out of church and drives to Lynn to have lunch with my daughter and her family. I want to be like my sister who got done with her responsibilities at church yesterday and then drove to her friend’s house forty five minutes away and then painted canvas until after dark.

Here’s the thing. I can do all those things on Sunday. I can push off the Sabbath slump for a bit as long as I am prepared to slump on Monday. I cannot escape it. If I schedule myself so busy that I can’t Sabbath one day a week, I become this crabby Zombie monster who cannot function in any form of godliness. I revert to my old sinful self.

History of Zombies - HISTORY

I watch other people and think how weak I am because I can’t seem to do what everyone else does. Then I think maybe their not really doing it either. Maybe they really are just better at hiding their sinful zombie monster selves than I am.

Let me ask you dear friends….HOW DOES REST LOOK IN YOUR LIFE? WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON’T REST THE RIGHT WAY?

I am looking forward to tomorrow dear friends!

Pastor J

This Day At the Vicarage 8-29-20

/ joseph elon lillie / 10 Comments

I awoke this morning with one of those leg cramps that make you scream yourself awake. You know the kind I mean, the kind where you are mindful enough to know that if you could just get to your feet the pain would stop, the kind which is so painful you cannot move out of the position you have contorted into.

What are Muscle Cramps and How Can They be Treated Naturally

After a minute of deep breathing through the worst of the pain, I swung my feet off the bed. I realized the day was dark and rainy, a reminder from God that I was in my current situation probably because I had let myself get dehydrated yesterday.

I pushed myself off of the bed. I thought back to yesterday and remembered that the Lord had changed up my sermon for Sunday on me. I was working in Psalm 84. Then, in my afternoon devotion the Lord had pushed me into Isaiah 8:11-20. When one sermon supplants another the sensation can be sort of like an emotional earthquake, especially when the supplanting comes on Friday afternoon. My new sermon prep got as far as reading the new verses to my sister after an evening ride around the area. Then I settled into an evening of wrestling internally with what I was to make out of the new passage given me. I went to bed with no more idea of what I was going to preach than when I first got the new verses in the afternoon.

This morning, as I paced about my bedroom trying to get my right calf muscle to release, the brain fog of sleep dissipated and I began to realize God had downloaded all the points of my new sermon while I was sleeping.

HAS ANYTHING LIKE THIS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?

MIND BLOWN - Imgur

Well you know I hobbled to my computer, and set the new outline down. I sent it off to my technical director so he could create the powerpoint. Then I heard the Lord say. “I have given you rain. Allow it to pace you. Allow it to slow you down to the place of prayer you need to be ready.”

So I have slowed down. I have hydrated. I have stretched. Most importantly, I have prayed and now I can say.

I am excited to see what tomorrow brings dear friends.

Pastor J

This Day At the Vicarage 8-25-20

/ joseph elon lillie / 1 Comment

Since the pandemic started I have found myself rising later than usual. My old pattern was to be up and going by 4:30 or 5 in the morning. I would have half a day’s work done by the time every one else was up. That was a necessary thing because by 2 in the afternoon I would start to crash. Back then I would nap briefly and get ready for my night time work (usually a service or some kind of meeting).

Jacopo is still up every morning at 4:30 A.M. like clock work (literally you can set your watch by him). Now, though, he only wants to jump off the bed and settle in his carry cage to catch some more Z’s. Mercedes always sleeps right up by head on the pillow to my right. They are good until 6:30 or 7 A.M. now. At least three or four mornings a week it is this way.

The strangest thing is this new schedule which includes more rest seems to make me more productive. I am writing far more than I ever did before. I am getting more done around the house than I have done in all my time living here… and while I am no longer doing meetings upon meetings and services upon services, the ministry I am doing now feels somehow deeper and more ministerial.

I think that has something to do with how the nature of the work has changed. I have moved from being primarily an administrator and preacher (or singer as the case were) to being a pastor and contemplative monastic prophet. Somehow this fits better with my gifts.

But while this is true of me, my daughter has shifted to a lot of administration within the church. She is thriving in this new role.

It is interesting how the pandemic is being used to push us into the areas of our actual giftings. It feels like God is setting something big up behind the scenes. I am keeping watch to see what He is doing.

These are my thoughts today in a nutshell. We are now at the time where I must sign off and say…

I am looking forward to tomorrow Dear Friends!

Pastor J

This Day At the Vicarage 8-20-20

/ joseph elon lillie / 4 Comments

I just wanted to put a quick word in tonight before heading to bed. It’s been a busy couple of days at the Vicarage. By that I mean it has been busy in a slow constant, intentional way. Slow, constant and intentional is the way I try to pace myself now, even as the world tries to get me back to running full tilt like I used to do.

Photo by Alex Powell on Pexels.com

I have known for years that I was supposed to be slowing down. I have said it to many of you over the decade of blogging. Many of my parishioniers have told me I should slow down. It just never seemed possible. Then at the end of last year God began to talk to me about a coming season I would spend in the “sage’s cave”. I didn’t realize it was going to take a pandemic to get me here, but now that I am in this space of deep lifestyle prayer I am not going back.

Photo by Brady Knoll on Pexels.com

That said I have had things to do these last two days that have kept me going at the top of my slow speed.

I met with my Sectional Presbyter yesterday (some of you might call him a bishop). I had to retake a portion of my latest credentialing test because of a clerical error. So it was off to Leominster MA to get that done. Then last night Amanda and I led The Wall Prayer meeting at Cornerstone.

The Wall is Cornerstone church’s remote prayer meeting. Amanda and I taught and prayed through “the prayer for strength” for our on line congregation.

Today started with me giving a singing lesson. Then once I got home the phone was very active with several pastoral calls. I ended the afternoon with a visit from one of the artists from our C.cada Community.

Lisa and I talked about the direction of our community. It is a conversation I am beginning to have with all of our artists. Pandemic has kept us from meeting since February. We have tried a few Zoom calls but they have not worked very well. So last month I began engaging people in on-line conversation and this month I am doing micro-gatherings with the artists to see how we are going to proceed: Facebook live teachings, micro gatherings and even virtual art shows are all on the table for discussion. I am encouraged by these winds of change and excited to see what God has for our next steps.

Well I have crossed the 11 P.M. zone and 4:30 A.M. is just around the corner; So I will sign off here saying…

I am looking forward to tomorrow dear friends.

Pastor J