This Day At the Vicarage 8-31-20

Yesterday I preached at Cornerstone Church in WInchendon, A message called “A Message For the Moment.” After church one of our parishioniers came over to the Vicarage to look at the dormers atop the house to see if he might be able to fix them for me before winter. The meeting took all of 15 minutes making me right on time to fix lunch for Mom.

After lunch the sabbath slump hit me. It came as it always does, a sudden rush of weariness that left me able to do almost nothing but lay on the couch sliding in and out of sleep. At three I walked the dogs and then took a short ride with Amanda around the area to see sites. We stopped by the mountain to take a few pics.

When we got back I had just enough energy to make supper before my body crashed once again. The rest of the night was spent watching TV on the couch. I rested. I practiced sabbath.

Photo by Pixabay on

I have long had a love/hate relationship with this discipline called sabbath. I think I have struggled with it because of what sabbathing requires of me….because of what resting requires of me. Most of the people around me approach the Sabbath and the act of sabbathing as a day off, a day to have fun. They get to their day off. They go to the beach. They rake the lawn. They have friends over for a barbecue. They go and visit gramma. They go to Maine for the afternoon…..Meanwhile I crawl into bed and sleep for twelve hours. A really active sabbath for me is to lay on the couch and watch TV for eight hours after my nap, like I did yesterday.

Now there is a piece of me that is good with this. That piece of me knows I need this if I am to function the rest of the week like a normal human being. But there is a piece of me that really struggles to be like all the people around me. I want to be the guy who gets out of church and drives to Lynn to have lunch with my daughter and her family. I want to be like my sister who got done with her responsibilities at church yesterday and then drove to her friend’s house forty five minutes away and then painted canvas until after dark.

Here’s the thing. I can do all those things on Sunday. I can push off the Sabbath slump for a bit as long as I am prepared to slump on Monday. I cannot escape it. If I schedule myself so busy that I can’t Sabbath one day a week, I become this crabby Zombie monster who cannot function in any form of godliness. I revert to my old sinful self.

History of Zombies - HISTORY

I watch other people and think how weak I am because I can’t seem to do what everyone else does. Then I think maybe their not really doing it either. Maybe they really are just better at hiding their sinful zombie monster selves than I am.


I am looking forward to tomorrow dear friends!

Pastor J


9 thoughts on “This Day At the Vicarage 8-31-20

  1. I can relate too well to the Zombie Monster… I’m “retired” so I can rest whenever I like, and Sabbath the same way. But mostly my weekends are extra Sabbath–online church, extra Bible reading. And sometimes cooking with the Lord 🙂 I will step up my prayers for you, Bro–that you’ll have sufficient energy for whatever your “want-to’ list contains, not just your “have-to’s”. And I’ll cancel my request for email contact–I don’t want to add to the wrong list…if you want to keep my email address, that’s fine–just take it off your blog, thanks. May you feel God’s abundant blessings throughout this week, and always ❤


    • I think you misunderstand me Sis. I am not too busy. There was a day when that was so. I made a transition in January to a life of faith. This lifestyle means I am fully God’s and He alone is my supply. It is something I had been convicted about for over a year. So in October I gave up my salary and began to change my hours at work to reflect a much more monastic lifestyle while relying on God to be my provision. I kind of thought the change of pace meant my need for this kind of sabbath was going to change and that I would be able to sabbath like all the people around me. I have discovered that my intense need to rest and become what others would call a couch potato is not tied to my activity but to my personality. That was a real kick in the pants.


      • There are things I’m intrigued by in what you say, but that I don’t understand–and think would be easier discussed in another format…but I don’t wish to put any pressure on you at all. It is troubling to me–to agree with you that we’ve all received the same covenant blessing package when we’re saved and or filled with the Spirit (depending on doctrines)–and yet the reality is that not all of us are able to access what you clearly can/have done. I don’t know if it’s a “glitch” due to my mental illness, or a matter of maturity, sin, or satan…I’m finding myself in a difficult space…and I really don’t need a crisis of faith during a time of pandemic and social unrest….it’s too many things to contend with. And unfortunately I don’t have a local pastor or trusted friend to help me hammer this stuff out. It sounds like you lead a very holy lifestyle–to be envied (or shamed if one doesn’t measure up to it). I just don’t like how I’m feeling–my faith was relatively easy since 2011–until recently…and maybe it’s just the impact of pandemic, I don’t know.

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  2. I can understand. When I preach, I am so tired afterwards, a if my body needs rest from all the studying and the strain of second guessing if I got it right. But,also, all week has been working on the sermon and the rest of my duties, but right afterwards, I allow myself to rest. I have learned the hard way od spending time in the hospital for total exhaustion to pay attention to my body. As a woman, i want everything just right, a clean house, meeting volunteer obligations to family and friends, and doing my work. The doctor told me to let something go, like housecleaning. I have abided by that every since, not wanting to over stress the body again. I have days for different things, like cleaning, not trying to do it all.


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