TIME TO “CLEAN THE GARAGE”

March 30, 2023 / joseph elon lillie / 1 Comment

Yesterday I wrote about decision fatigue. Writing does help me get what’s inside out so I can look at it from a different perspective. As I thought about what I wrote yesterday a few thoughts kept rolling around in my head:

I FEEL OVERWHELMED BECAUSE I AM NOT GIVING MYSELF ENOUGH TIME TO RECUPERATE FROM THE WORK I DO, ESPECIALLY THE EMOTIONAL WORK. I NEED TO GET BETTER AT PRACTICING SABBATH.
I AM ALREADY AUTOMATING LOTS OF MY DECISIONS TO HELP MYSELF, BUT I DO NEED TO GET BETTER AT PRACTICING THE DECISIONS I AUTOMATE.
I THINK A PART OF PRACTICING SABBATH IS TAKING TIME TO STOP AND “CLEAN THE GARAGE”.

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I don’t have a garage, but having an actual garage is not necessary to practice “cleaning the garage”. Cleaning the garage is a term I heard from a men’s lifestyle teacher, Neil Kennedy. Neil teaches that when a man is overwhelmed one of the keys to dealing with the blinding stress that comes with the overwhelm is to assert control over some area of his life. It doesn’t have to be the area or the thing that is causing the overwhelm. Just the act of organizing and controlling some aspect of his environment creates a sense of calm that helps put life back into proper perspective.

I think part of sabbathing for me is going to involve “cleaning the garage”. Doing and completing some task that betters my environment will help me to regain and maintain focus in the midst of the many decisions that lie before me.

It’s Spring.

The snow has gone from the Vicarage (mostly). The blackbirds and robins have returned.

Flocks of grackles and starlings are visiting my feeders once again. The air is filled with birdsong. The world is waking up.

In the midst of the waking world I have a side lawn that needs to be planted, and a giant pile of fieldstone to turn into stone walls and stone planters.

There is a rat warren to cement shut.

And then there is the other side of the house with all the overgrown gardens to prune and beautify. That should leave me enough garage to clean for a while as Spring springs into being.

Of course there is also the option to nap rather than clean.

Maybe I can do a little of both and!

Decision Fatigue

March 29, 2023March 29, 2023 / joseph elon lillie / 1 Comment

My daughter says I need a real Sabbath. I do take one… sort of. I come home on Sundays after service and I try not to do anything other than my Monday devotional until Monday night men’s group.

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Some weeks I do better than others. After last week, when I didn’t get the sermon done until Friday night, I got nervous. Since I already knew what I was preaching for this next Sunday I wrote the sermon on Monday which meant of course…no day off.

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Yesterday I had staff meeting, came home to do bills and to work through my own health insurance options while also working on Grace’s next steps into the world of Medicaid. Then I got a call to attend the bedside of a man preparing for his eternal journey. So I decided to cancel my regularly scheduled evening meetings with other parishioners.

This morning I woke up to two e-mails pushing towards decisions for the health insurance and some changes around the Vicarage. Neither of them were pushy or terribly serious they just started the day on an emphasis of decision making before I had even had my first cup of coffee.

I have been learning in my NOOM app about decision fatigue. I know this is one of my issues. Too many decisions….Noom says one of the ways to deal with decision fatigue is to automate some of your decisions. Move them from the plate of conscious decision to automatic action. Things like: What to have for breakfast, lunch and dinner, The order of activities in the day, what clothes to wear.

I also think my daughter is right. I have to be much more intentional about building in a decision free day…a real sabbath. And I think I need to build some actual decision making/ planning time into my schedule. It is there I am just not using the planning time to its proper advantage.

HERE’S A QUESTION. WHAT ARE SOME TRICKS YOU USE TO INTENTIONALLY PLAN YOUR LIFE?

TO RELEASE THE OWL

March 27, 2023March 27, 2023 / joseph elon lillie / 4 Comments

About two months ago Amanda rescued an owl from an unkindness of ravens that was trying to kill it (an unkindness is a group of ravens that gather around here. They often group to attack birds of prey).

Animal control came and collected the poor creature which was in shock and had a broken wing.

Yesterday just before church Amanda got the call that the bird was healed and ready to be released back into the wild. We were asked if we wanted to observe the release so at 4:30 in the afternoon we were at the church to watch the event.

The little fellow looked a little nervous, but with a bit of encouragement he was able to leave the box and go back to his home.

WEAK DAY ON THE WEEKEND

March 26, 2023 / joseph elon lillie / 1 Comment

Recently, Mom has been experiencing a new level of muscle weakness particularly in her legs. Some days she is good and then others she can barely walk. When these “spells” come on her she also gets very tired and achy throughout her body.

Her most recent bout with whatever this is came yesterday. She didn’t have the strength to make it to the bathroom on her own. Fortunately we have a kamode she can use in her room. Even with that I had to help her to stand up.

It seems to pass after a time and today she is moving much better and is feeling stronger. Her shoulders and back ache, though, and she has taken Motrin and muscle rub. She did have bloodwork on Friday so I am hoping that givers us some answers.

WHO NEEDS THE RADIO?

March 23, 2023 / joseph elon lillie / 2 Comments

I love to listen to music of all kinds. My car is equipped with a radio, a CD player, Bluetooth for Apple Car play, and Sirius XM capability. I use none of it.

I listen to the radio maybe .5% of the time I am driving. Even on long drives, like any drive up to Claremont I seldom listen to music on the radio.

Driving is my thinking time.

Driving is additional talking to God time.

The Good Lord is doing so much just now. My life is so full of His moving in new and wonderful ways I find myself needing every spare minute to put into context what He is doing.

I keep hearing Him say, “You must see what I am doing.”

Seeing what He is doing takes time and lots of deep consideration. Who needs a radio? The music of the spheres is constantly playing in my head.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT WHEN YOU ARTE DRIVING?

EMBRACING THE HOLY RHYTHM

March 22, 2023March 22, 2023 / joseph elon lillie / 1 Comment

I just finished reading through my comments from my most recent blogs (it is a habit I used to have that I am trying to reestablish). Sister Brenda commented, “if I don’t keep my sabbath holy who will?“

I will take it one step further, “If I don’t keep my daily rhythm holy, who will?”

Sabbath is a part of a holistic life rhythm that leads to a Spirit-led life.

Some time ago God told me that “I needed to start allowing life to flow out of the prayer place rather than letting prayer be informed out of the living place.”

A rhythm of prayer flowing into living and then living flowing back into prayer, prayer being the source of the living rather than allowing living to be the source of prayer is necessary.

I am…have been learning to make my life a response to prayer rather than allowing my prayers to become a reaction to living.

This lenten season I am intentionally calling myself to seven times of prayer a day.

My “midnight prayers” are times of dreams and visions that are beginning to carry more and more weight in my daily living.

My “prayer of arising” is a time of meditating on the life of Jesus among the people.

My “midmorning prayer” is a time of hearing the heart of the Psalmist.

My “noon time prayer” is a time of hearing the heart of the Psalmist.

My “late afternoon prayer” isa time of joining my voice to the voice of the Worship Room either in person or most often remotely.

My “vespers” is another time of joining my voice to the Worship Room or to the Cornerstone Church prayer room.

“Compline” is that time just before bed to meditate through the Psalms as I prepare for the dream space of the midnight once again.

My position allows me to extend prayer deeper than most people can, but I know that in the days ahead we will all be expanding the prayer space.

WHAT DO YOU THINK GOD WANTS YOUR PRAYER SPACE TO LOOK LIKE?

THAT APOSTOLIC FEELING

March 21, 2023March 21, 2023 / joseph elon lillie / 1 Comment

I am in the middle of a preaching series entitled, “Jesus Doing Life.” The emphasis of this study is on how Jesus worked through his various roles to build His community, the church. I am focusing on Jesus in His roles as:

AS A HUMAN BEING

AS A PRIEST

AS A PROPHET

AS A SERVANT

AS A TEACHER

AS AN ENCOURAGER

AS A GIVER

AS A LEADER

AS A WORKER OF MIRACLES

AS A HEALER

AS AN APOSTLE

AS A PASTOR

AS AN EVANGELIST

AS THE MESSIAH

It’s the final stretch. Today I am writing the sermon on Jesus as Apostle. Next week we will cover Jesus as Pastor and Evangelist and finally on Easter we will talk about Jesus as Messiah.

Amanda and I had an opportunity to travel to Wilbraham MA this morning for a gathering of pastors from the Western Region of the state.

We are preparing for our All Network Conference. So each region is meeting in the next two weeks to go over some of the ideas that are going to be at the forefront of our conference.

One of the things we were greatly encouraged in was the importance of our mission, not just our individual missions to our specific towns, but also our corporate mission to reach the world with the message off the Gospel.

This call to the larger call is the apostles heart…It is not just my church or our church but THE CHURCH.

“How do we work together to get it all done?” is the question that burns in the heart of the apostle.

It is about unifying around the big picture, the finishing of the whole mission, not just the little part of it in our own corners of the world.

The apostle can never lose sight of the words of Jesus from Matthew 24.

this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come. Ma 24:14

DO YOU THINK THERE MAY YET BE APOSTLES IN THE WORLD?

THE SWELLS, THE STORMS, THE SABBATH

March 20, 2023 / joseph elon lillie / 3 Comments

The swell of life’s ocean. A beautiful storm: Love… adventure…community… the wonder of the now… the blessing of eternity.

I am finding labor and rest in the fullness of this ocean: Church…prayer… The Vicarage… The larger community… personal life… health… elder care…ministry… Sabbath…

All these waves to be surfed in the continual up an down rhythm of life’s tide.

I need to take advantage of the spaces between the waves, the little sabbaths of each day. And I need to simply ignore the waves at least once a week for a day…give these aging muscles some time to not meet the requirements of the ocean.

I was going to drive up to Claremont again today to visit Grace. My body said no to that. So I am going to drive up on Friday instead. I will call her this morning. Then I will let my mind wander through some of the study material I have on my desk. I will write and pray and take it easy. Maybe I will nap.

HOSPICE FOR GRACE

March 18, 2023March 18, 2023 / joseph elon lillie / 2 Comments

The week has been eventful as far as it concerns elder care. The snow storm was a huge challenge for mother. She hasn’t quite recovered her sleep schedule yet or her best grace. This morning she told my son that when he comes to live here she is going to make him live in tent on the side of the house and she will make sure he had an outhouse to use.

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Yesterday I got a call from Sullivan County Health Care, where my ward Grace lives. Her appetite has been very poor for some time, but since the storm she has eaten almost nothing and she is drinking very little as well.

It is now to the point where hospice has been suggested. This next turn of the wheel has finally come.

I got the call from the visiting nurses out of White River Junction last night, and set up the appointment to sign paperwork for 9:30 this morning.

I am so thankful for the support network I have to help with mother. Amanda is away at a family life conference in Shrewsbury MA today, so my daughter Melanie came to sit with mom for the four hours I would be gone this morning.

I was driving the road along the Ashuelot River by 8 A.M. By 9:30 I was pulling into the driveway at Sullivan County Health Care.

The nursing home is under major reconstruction. The new stucture is going to be absolutely beautiful.

As I walked through the hallways, filled with temporary storage containers for the current construction work my heart felt such sadness. Grace will probably not be here to see the finished work on her current home.

During this visit, though, there were lots of wins to celebrate. I got to introduce the hospice nurse, Jen, to Grace personally and we both had a nice visit with Grace before Jen and I had to step aside to sign paperwork. Grace was having a good morning. She has lost quite a bit of weight now, but she was in good spirits, and pain free.

One of the things I am most glad about is that Grace will now have a weekly visit with a chaplain. She has really missed the in person spiritual direction and Scripture reading. I will also have a weekly check in from the chaplain to let me know how things are going on the spiritual- emotional front.

HAVE YOU OR A LOVED ONE EVER BEEN UNDER A CHAPLAIN’S CARE?

NOT SLEEPING IN WINCHENDON

March 17, 2023 / joseph elon lillie / 5 Comments

On Tuesday the power went out. It was out for thirteen hours. We had to use candles for light. It got cold in the house. Mom got nervous and very talkative. Amanda and I got zero sleep. When the lights came back on at 3:30 A.M. mom thought it was early evening not early morning.

By the time she went to sleep. The sun was well up and I was well into my day. Wednesday night after prayer meeting I went to bed and found myself awake until probably 1 or 2 and then I was up for a full day on Thursday.

Last night I slept from about midnight to about 3 A.M.and was awake off and on from that point forward. I have noticed that not sleeping is affecting how I eat and how I process information emotionally. The lenten fast has been thrown pretty much out the window since the snowstorm, interestingly I am finding that the prayer structures I was trying to achieve are coming a bit more easily. Being awake at 3 A.M makes Matins and Lauds a lot easier, but my eating schedule is all over the map.

I am going to give myself another day or so to normalize and then I will make some other considerations. I definitely need to have one good night’s sleep before Sunday morning.

WHAT DO YOU DO TO GET TO SLEEP?

Notes From the Vicarage

A year long experiment in what happens when a matriarch, three ministers, three dogs and a flerken try to live together.