family
The Eldest and the Youngest
AMANDA WRITES…Well, while half of the Vicarage is in Florida enjoying Disney the Eldest and youngest of the Vicarage are left to guard the home front. This is quite the change for Grandma as she doesn’t see me as an adult quite yet. Just last month she started to allow me to wash the dinner dishes! With that being said, Dad asked me, what were the easiest and hardest things about being left alone with Grandma for a week.
The easiest thing is listening to her stories from her childhood and learning how my dad grew up. The first day dad left she was missing her kids, and she took out photos I had never seen before and with each photo she showed me she was able to tell me all the details of that time. Having these memories and moments are precious and I don’t take them for granted.
The hardest thing is the questions. As grandma grows older her memory is not what it once was. In the evenings we sit together and talk and she asks the same questions over and over. “when’s your father coming home?” “Is Brenda coming home at the same time?” “Have you walked the dogs yet?” “Where’s your cat?” While these questions aren’t hard to answer it’s the repetitiveness and the realization of what is slowly being taken away from her that is hard and frustrating.
J. WRITES… Thank you Amanda for giving us this time.
Walking Between
Centering Down
The Rigors
The Many Threads At the Vicarage
I had this thought when I started “Notes From the Vicarage” that somehow we as a family were going to come to this year with all its craziness, all its transition, all its busyness and hullabaloo and still somehow we were going to be able to lay down all of that in an orderly and succinct fashion. I pictured our story at the Vicarage laying down in nice neat lines or perhaps even a beautifully woven tapestry, the design of which would be easily discernible by even the untrained eye. It hasn’t worked out like that at all
I am always talking to Pastor Dan (my lead pastor) about the prophetic threads flowing through our church. I somehow thought that “Notes From the Vicarage” would help me to see the order in the chaos of all the threads. I do believe it will still do that for me. Right now, though, all it is doing is showing me more threads. those threads have always been there, I just wasn’t seeing them before I started writing.
There are: threads of ministry, threads of personal health, threads of artistry, threads of aging, threads of family and family change, threads of mid life, threads of friendships growing and waning, threads of goodness, threads of evil and so many others which I have barely even touched on yet. This blog has helped me to see all those threads from new angles. I still cannot see that pattern they make, maybe I never will, maybe I am not supposed to.
I was talking to God about all these threads the other day and asking Him to help me understand them. I was striving so hard for understanding and then God came and told me to stop looking at the threads and to start looking at Him.
He said, “Son the nature of prophecy is not in looking at the world and trying to understand it. The nature of prophecy is in looking at God and allowing Him to explain what He wants you to know of the world.”
I still see all those threads. I’m just not looking at them as much anymore. At least that is what I am working at.
A Godly Heritage
As I was driving to work the other day. I took a turn down Grove Street. After passing my old high school (now an elementary school) and upon coming to the outlet of Grove Street onto School St. I noticed that renovations had begun on the old Ready house. Mr. Ready was the postmaster in town when I was a kid. His wife’s name was Ruth. They were some of our first customers on a paper route my sister and I shared when Brenda was just nine and I was eleven.
The reminiscence brought me to a realization. The ministers of the Vicarage are in a situation that is almost unique. We are ministering this year together in the town we were born in. I have made my career as a minister in the town I was born in. My daughter, Amanda is the fifth generation of our family who has lived in this tiny little town in North Central Massachusetts just on the New Hampshire border. One of our great-great uncles was on the team that built Clyde the Rocking Horse, the symbol of Winchendon (AKA Toy Town). My grandfather was on the board of selectmen. My Dad helped write the modern town charter. These are our people. We are ministering and fighting the spiritual battle for our ancestral home.
As I thought about these things an overwhelming sense of destiny came over me. The Vicarage is not unique just because three ministers live there in a very complicated intergenerational situation further confused by three dogs and a flerkin. The most amazing thing about our situation is that this year feels like it is being breathed upon by the breath of God. The scent of destiny if in the air. The world suddenly feels pregnant with purpose beyond our mortal intentions and as I write that I don’t fully understand what that means.
I am flabbergasted as I question why God has chosen us. I am honored beyond measure and I pray that at the Day of Reckoning we will be found worthy of the calling with which we were called, whatever that turns out to be.
Have you ever felt chosen by God for something? Have you ever felt you were in the midst of some divine plan?
The Hardest Transition Of All
We have mentioned how the Vicarage is going through a lot of transition. Brenda has come home from her mission in The Netherlands at the busiest season of the church year. She hit the ground running even as she was recovering from jetlag and set out to preaching on her first weekend back. that was a hard and a fast transition.
Her dog took two weeks to transition to our time zone. That was a hard transition. My two dogs and he still cannot be left alone in the same room. That has been a hard transition.
Amanda left the day before Brenda came back to take care of some children of a congregant. That sent Flerkin into a tail spin for a few days, a hard transition.
I am getting used to living in a house as the only man among three women. A hard transition.
But none of these things have compared to the transition my mom has been walking through. Her transition began long before Brenda came back. Over the last few years Mom has been slowly losing things to the demon of memory loss. She has lost the ability to drive. She has stepped away from the stove for the most part. She has given up sole ownership of the house and just recently she had to give up the ability to self medicate. she still holds onto her checkbook, but even that she is beginning to accept help with.
The changes in the Vicarage have been huge for all of us but none of us have faced more daunting changes than mom. We have all needed grace for our separate transitions but mom has needed a deeper grace than all of us. We all realize that we are just at the beginning of this journey, but we also know we do not travel it alone. We have each other and we have the God we serve.
J: What Being A Minister Means To Me
One of the things I hope our little family experiment at the Vicarage reveals is what life is like for ministerial families. I hope we get to give you a glimpse behind the curtain to show you that we are just a real family with all the same struggles everyone else has. Being ministers does not exempt us in any way from the normal trials and tribulations of life. Being a minister doesn’t come with a magic “bless you stick” that makes our trials go away on Sundays.
Being ministers though does indicate that we have embraced a lifestyle that is a bit different from the one most people experience. Our lives as ministers are governed by a call from God through which every job, relationship and schedule gets run. That call often leads us into unique situations like the one above where I had to dress up in this costume and go on stage in front of 1100 teen-agers to help teach a Gospel message.
As ministers we live our lives (or at least are supposed to) by prayer and we walk through our lives by faith (or at least are supposed to). Pastors live in the prophetic realm and are called to listen for the internal spiritual witness of God. That witness, that call can lead us into some crazy, exciting even at times harrowing situations.
The title Prophet has been bandied around about me a lot lately. I am not really big into titles but I know God has been doing something in me for a long time that is definitely prophetic. I feel like this family blog is a part of that prophetic call and I am hoping over the course of the next year to acquaint you more with it. Maybe at the end of this time I will understand more about who I am made to be by God. Maybe at the end of this time you will have come away with a better understanding of ministers, prophets, their lives and maybe even a little bit more of an understanding of who God made you to be.
J: The Logistics Of Cattywampus
Like my daughter Amanda I enjoy routine and schedule. Like my sister Brenda I enjoy routine and schedule. Here’s the thing all of us enjoy our own routines and our own schedules. That said, God is calling us to a time of blending our routines and schedules together.
I am not exactly sure why God is doing this, but I do know God never does anything without a purpose. He wastes nothing.
Today started at 2:39 a.m. for me. I woke up with a raging sore throat. I went downstairs to the kitchen and gargled with salt water as quietly as I could. Then I went back to my room and began the process of welcoming the day in prayer. This is a deviation from routine for me because normally I would begin my prayer time in the workroom. Now with Brenda sleeping one room away, and Snug being so sensitive to sound at the moment I wanted to keep it as quiet as possible until a decent hour. I have been practicing for the last few weeks starting prayer in my room.
Brenda and I had to be at Pastor Dan’s house for 7:45 a.m. , so by 6 a.m. I was walking and feeding dogs and feeding the cat and cleaning the litter box and going to the store for mom’s morning papers, cigarettes and scratch tickets.
Then it was off to Sturbridge for a prophetic conference and so Brenda could pick up the car she’s renting from the district office for the next month or so.
The conference was super good. Both Pastor Dan and I felt very affirmed in what is happening at Cornerstone Church. I feel like God is teaching me more and more about the gift he placed in me from the beginning.
Brenda meanwhile picked up her car and had to head home to practice her sermon for this weekend in Hyannis.
Pastor Dan and I pulled in to town after the conference around 3 p.m. . I ran home walked the dogs, and crashed for a nap as once again I was feeling a bit under the weather.
When I got up Brenda asked if we could go to the church to print off her sermon and so she could try it out on me. So at 8 p.m. we were at the church practice preaching. Hyannis is in for a treat.
After practice preaching we returned home to walk dogs and feed the cat and to dispense moms medication for the night.
The schedule right now feels a little cattywampus but you know I don’t think I would have it any other way. This is life and it’s life to the full. Sure, in the newness there is a lot to work out. There are some complicated logistics to working the schedule, our schedules together. This is a work in progress but it’s God’s work. It’s fun work. You won’t find me complaining because we get to do all this fantastic stuff of life and ministry together. There aren’t too many families that have such intricate and interesting opportunities.
