Just over a year ago God gave me a vision during a Sunday morning service. In this vision I saw a satanic force coming against our church. The Lord showed me that for a season we would be able to thwart this spirit power in the strength God had already given us. But the Lord told me that there would come a time when the enemy would be too powerful for us to face in our own strength. The Lord instructed that when that time came we were to call the church to pray and He would send us divine helpers to strengthen and revive the church.
I believe we have come to that time when we cannot face the enemy in our own strength…. and so we have started THE WALL prayer meetings to call the church to pray and ask God to send us the help He promised. This is a prayer meeting from a week ago but perhaps you can use it to spend some time focusing your own prayers.
Many years ago, after taking a course called 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, I started planning out my week using an agenda. Over the years I have adapted a shorthand that helps keep me on track throughout the week. My agenda looks like this.
It’s pretty simple really and covers everything from sleep to daily exercise and even prayer.
I found that just writing down what I planned to do in a weekly agenda did not help me to do the things I planned. The agenda helped me to keep track of my meetings ( which as a pastor is important, you don’t want to be missing funerals or weddings), but as far as the big rocks went (the disciplines of everyday living I valued like prayer or exercise) just writing them on a weekly to do calendar did not help me prioritize them. I found it too easy to let the work of ministry supplant the everyday disciplines because the work seemed so much more urgent than the time spent in the things I valued for my personal life.
Then I got a smart phone and I discovered two things: the Bible App and the timer/stopwatch app. I had heard how monks lived by a series of bells telling them when to go to certain activities and when to move on from that activity to the next one. Of course we all did that in school didn’t we? I personally loved when the lunch bell rang.
I tried it where my personal disciplines were concerned. When it came time for prayer, I would set my timer for twenty minutes and when it rang I could go on to the next activity…or I could set it for another twenty minutes, if I had nothing pressing me, and pray some more. But while the clock was counting down precious few things were allowed to interrupt me from my timed task.
Soon I was using the timer to time my exercise sessions, my reading sessions my writing sessions and even my housework. I found living by the bells had two advantages: For some reason the idea of doing a timed task made me more committed to the task and less likely to allow myself to be interrupted. Also, if I found myself not wanting to do a task, telling myself I only had to do it until the bell rang made the task more palatable somehow.
It still took work and time, trial and failure, but life by the bells has worked for me. As we have shut ourselves in during this time of quarantine, life by the bells has helped me organize and structure my days even while I do not have the big events like church services or worship practices or community events to attend to.
I’ve had a revelation: The world has changed. That has changed the Vicarage. It has also changed everyone who lives in The Vicarage.
My life before the shut in was busy. My life “shut in” is also busy but it is filled with different things and a different kind of busyness now. This busyness feels slower more evenly rhythmic than the busyness from before.
Now that I am mostly recovered from pneumonia my days start early again and they have fallen into a repeating meter: I walk and feed the dogs sometime between 4 and 6 A.M. I pray for an hour or so. I have breakfast with the Fam. Then I do chores until noon. At noon I make lunch for Mom and the Fam and we eat together. I pray again. I take a short nap or do some more chores depending on my level of weariness. I walk the dogs at 3 P.M. I start dinner and start writing (usually I start with blogs and then I do editing on the novel). I start dinner and then have supper with the Fam. Sometimes after supper we play a card game or watch a little TV and then I go back to writing and I usually write until 10 or 11 and then close the day off with prayer.
Brenda’s schedule usually dogs mine. So we end up doing a lot of things together. That has been really good as it has given us lots of time to talk as we plot our separate ministry courses and the renovations of the Vicarage which we now co-own. Here are some of the projects we have been working on since the Shut In.
Roofing the Vicarage Before raking the Vicarage After raking. Lots more to do. Planting the early garden First attempt….epic fail!!! Second attempt Moving around offices The new office. I think this is going to take a little while
Higher and higher the water rises. I watch from the seeming safety of the shore, as wave upon wave rushes in to meet me.
Busyness, Hurry, and Frustration lap at my feet. Pulling the sand beneath me out to sea with its power.
I feel drawn to follow, but my heart keeps me here.”Dig your feet in deeper child. Hold fast to your foundation. Do not be moved or swayed.”
Fear, Pain and Anger crash at my feet. Their violent splash washing away every worldly comfort.
My heart longs to dive into after them. Seeking to restore all that’s been lost. “NO!” Whispers the Spirit.
“Dig your feet in deeper still. The Well Spring of hope lies under your feet. This vast ocean of -WHAT WAS- must be washed away.”
Still trying to hold on to the known, my toes grasp for each grain of sand, to no avail. I watch as the dreams of normal, the wishes for comfort, are all washed out to sea.
The wind whips up into a frenzied dance. Sand stinging my face. I look out upon the vast ocean. My feet now safely dug down deep, resting on the Hope that lies beneath.
A glint of light glancing off the waves makes my eyes water. Tears wash down my ravaged cheeks. Looking up, I hear…
“My Child, I am all around you. Fear not, your feet are planted on the solid rock of My love. My hope has been rooted down deep in your heart. And though the wind may whip, and the seas rage into a maelstrom, I AM WITH YOU. Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid.”
Last week our grocery store started limiting the number of people who could go in at one time. One in one out, is the new rule.
This week we were asked to start shopping in two week stints to limit the amount of exposure each of us have to the public, as cases of the Covid-19 mount across the state. I could feel the fear as I was shopping yesterday. One man yelled at me when I pulled down my face mask for a moment to defog my glasses.
In the midst of our world falling apart around us by bits and pieces, I have been “attending” an on-line retreat regarding the sorrows of Passion Week. Today our leader in the retreat wrote this:
“Where is our hope? Our hope is in a God who died publicly humiliated outside the walls of a minor city in a great empire. This God is not a God for winners, not a God who makes us great again. We believe in a God who throws the rich from their thrones and lifts up the lowly. Our God dies daily, alongside the poor, the outcast, the immigrant child, the fearful and victimized, the one who dies alone. Our hope is in a God who chooses humility, a God who bows deeply, who suffers with us, even unto death. A God who dies daily alongside those in this plague, who knows the fear of those who serve others in this pandemic, who knows the avoidance of those who would rather go back to sleep.” Almut Furchert
I am struck by the phrase, “Our hope is in a God who chooses humility, a God who bows deeply,”
When, besides the cross, in all of the worlds religions did a god choose humility? IN the cross God bowed low!!!!
For me this time has been a very humbling experience. I got sick at the beginning of the shut- in and my voice has not yet returned (I am thanking God that this sickness was not as serious as it could have been). I have not led worship in something like seven weeks. This has been one of my lamentations during this season. It felt like a loss ( not so much the loss of worship but of my voice), but God has showed me that this is the moment I have prayed for. In my inability, younger men have stepped to the plate and worship has gone on, and there is actually a liberation in that!
The whole church is being humbled as we approach this Easter weekend. We are being forced to do away with the pomp and circumstance which generally go with this season. We are being forced to return to the simplicity of the cross: no frills, no stirring music or acting, no lights or crowds, just a naked Savior hanging, dying on a cross. Perhaps in the midst of our world falling apart this will be one of the most powerful Easters the church has experienced in many years simply because we cannot make it about us or our attempts at personal kingdom building. It must be completely about Jesus.
God is changing me through this experience. He is moving me ,in the midst of it, into the new place He has been promising to being me. He is accomplishing His prophesied move in our church at Cornerstone and He is fulfilling His prophesied word in the church world- wide. The church is being humbled. As the crucifixion of Christ was God’s plan to bring about Christ’s Resurrection then, this crucifixion we are experiencing has a resurrection attached to it as well. Hold onto that.
In these days of social distancing, this is the hub of church life now. The staff and board are all on line first thing in the morning or on the phone connecting with people to show up at on-line church. All through the service Amanda, Brenda and I are here at The Vicarage “greeting” people as they come on line and gathering info through private message convos and on-line comments. We follow up on these throughout the week by phone and Facebook.
After the service, Amanda goes in and makes a few copies for people who do not have internet service and then we distribute the CD version to the doors of those individuals homes.
I haven’t posted here in the last few days because I have been busy social distancing. You might think….”Wouldn’t the stay at home order make you less busy than usual?”
Well, truthfully the nature of the work is changing but the work itself is still taking the same amount of time . I am moving slower now. Some of that is because I am still recovering from pneumonia. I am noticing it takes me longer to do things than it used to. I need to rest more frequently. But I think the second reason I am moving slower is because of the amount of prayer I am doing these days. That prayer has shifted my mindset to a much more peaceful space.
I am also doing a lot more writing these days too. The book is coming along nicely.
This week I have also gone back to meetings. Not as many as I use to have for sure but I have had two ZOOM meetings which took 3 hours a piece.
Today I called two of our elders in the church and both of them needed my help. One of them has not been able to get out to get food. or her medications. I was going grocery shopping anyway so…. But our grocery has started limiting the number of people who can go into the store at a time.
It didn’t take as long to get in as I thought it would, but by the time was all said and done getting her groceries and meds took me four hours. The smile on her face as I handed her her final med pack was worth it all.
The other couple I helped is refinancing their home and since the banks around here are not open for walk in business all the forms needed to be e-mailed to me for a print off and for them to sign. Then we scanned the forms back into the computer and e-mailed them back to their bank. My elder friends had absolutely no idea how to do any of that so….
Pastoring these days is turning out to be much more practical than it used to be. We find ourselves meeting very practical needs as well as praying and teaching the Scripture. I have to say I am kind of enjoying this new form of social distance busyness. It’s slower and much more hands on. Maybe I am getting less done but somehow it feels like I am being very productive.
In my afternoon prayer time the Lord said, “You are beginning to slow down enough to become more consistently creative.”
It is true I have been attempting to be more creative on a more consistent basis. My goal, for the longest time, has been to create a piece of writing and a piece of art everyday.
A fellow artist began posting simple drawing techniques to play with when the stay at home order began. It was then I thought to myself. This time apart could help me establish some of the new habits I have been attempting this year. The dog above was drawn by first writing the number 61 on the page.
One of my problems artistically has always been my consistency. I tend to create in fits and starts. The idea of taking time…prioritizing time everyday has seemed nearly impossible.
That road block which has plagued me for so many years has been removed and I am finding that while I may be classified a beginner my heart is in this. I am having fun creating.
The other day I wrote a poem and I actually took time to rewrite it using a formal poetic form. It was so much fun!
I am finding the more I practice the better I get. I really like my cat.
The Lord is using art to help me keep my mind off of the worries of these present days. What is God laying at your feet to help you shift from worry to joy? If you haven’t found anything take out a piece of paper and a pencil or pen and try your hand at drawing.
I have always believed that the journey of life is as important as the destination. In fact, when it comes to self discovery I believe that the journey is even more important than the destination. It’s in the journey that we discover our God given roles. It’s in the course of the journey that we discover where we belong in this vast family we call humanity.
The art of self discovery becomes possible only when we stop rushing headlong towards what we see as the goal…the destination, and when we take time to look around at what the journey means to us. What we understand about the journey, how we look at the part of the journey we are on now, helps us understand many things about who we were made to be. There is no right or wrong in this process of discovery just more and less honest.
I have a friend, for instance, who is being driven by the current situation, of social distancing, to begin managing our church food pantry to meet the needs of elderly people in crisis.
My own reaction to COVID-19 is the understanding that I was made for the secret place. Each day finds me driven deeper and deeper into the place of prayer, the place God and I have dubbed “the sage’s cave”.
As I said before there is no right or wrong in the process of self discovery, there is only more and less honest. I could wish to be more like my friend and start laying out plans to create social reforms that will help in the Covid crisis, but that would be me being dishonest about what is really in me, because I am afraid of the reaction of people when they hear I am being led to pray (because lets face it our culture loves social activists while it sort of scoffs at monks).
I will undoubtedly explore the idea of being honest in the process of self discovery in the future, but for now I simply want to encourage you, my readers, to use this current situation to discover something about yourself you did not know before.
Soooooo. ……WHAT DOES OUR NATION’S EXPERIMENT WITH SOCIAL DISTANCING SHOW YOU ABOUT YOURSELF?
Notes From the Vicarage 