Every year for the last two decades or so, our church has hosted a 21 day fast. Each year is a little different, but each year is a time of deep spiritual introspection for our church, as each of us fast and take time to pray privately And corporately.
This this year, we are partnering with The Worship Room House of Prayer in our hometown of Winchendon. The Worship Room is hosting three hours a day of prayer for the next 21 days.
I just came from my first two hour prayer session of this fast. I am sensing that this year. God will use this fast to prepare us for a move of supernatural signs and wonders, miracles to take place over the coming year.
I do believe miracles happen. I also believe they are about to happen to us.
I am sitting at the dining table eating left over Chinese food, thinking about the year past and the year ahead.
2024 was a hard year. I don’t think I have really stopped to meditate on just how hard it was. I certainly haven’t allowed myself to feel the hardness. It was a year of death and a year of sickness for our family. It was a year that brought earth shaking change to our lives, identities and ministries. We are not the same people we were at the end of 2023.
Last night we celebrated the New Year as a family at The Vicarage.
New Year’s Eve was our gift exchange this year. I got designer coffee! My son Joe got tools. The kids got play dough and toys. The ladies got winter clothing. James got a book he had been wanting to read. It was a good night topped off by our traditional meal…. Chinese food
It was also a game night.
To say I am not a good game player is an understatement, but other members of the family are. It was a quiet and comforting way to spend the last day of this very difficult year.
Today I am catching up on chores, and putting Christmas away. As I write this note between loads of laundry I am thinking about what the Lord has already told us about 2025.
My personal words for the year are: PRACTICE THE PRESENCE…
Here are some other things we have learned about 2025 from the last few months of 2024.
Amanda has heard- Focus and Watch. 1 Peter 5:8 State alert for your great enemy the Devil stalks about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. Focus on the right thing not similar distractions because there will be good things and God things. See the potential particularly in our children. Don’t overlook the small things in life or neglect the potential of small things. Watch is the word, Gregorio. Its definition is- Keeping your eyes on the truth.
James has heard- We are children of THE KING. The time has come to act like it. We are an already not yet people. We have the victory but we now have to posses this in the Spirit. We need to use our spiritual authority.
Kristine has heard-Dwell! Dwell in the presence of the Lord and the presence of the Holy Spirit. Claim the victory. Psalm 139 teaches us that God is all knowing.He knows every detail of our lives and even when we don’t see it, He is working in our lives. We need to remember that He knows the end of our stories and the progress of the journey.
Yesterday my sister and I were on Messenger talking and this prophetic word came –
And this is what the Lord says, open your eyes, I am bringing you into a spacious place. This is the culmination of over a half a century of My work. I have hidden this from the enemy as I have hidden this from you, but this is about neither of you and both of you. The enemy can see the size and shape of this thing, but even he does not know what it is any more than you know what it is. you were chosen for this. your family was chosen for this. You each have your part to play. I have prepared you. I have called you by name. Now prepare yourselves. Gird yourselves and answer me like a human, where were you when I laid the foundations of the storehouses of the snow?
Nine bells just rang at the Old Murdock Senior Center, and I am just finishing my day. Snish is falling outside. Walking the dogs and putting the chickens to bed was a cold wet business tonight, but at last it is all done. I am dressed in the Christmas PJ’s the kids’ mom sent up just before Thanksgiving for all of us.
FROM LEFT TO RIGHT: JAMES FRANKLIN, ABIGAIL FRANKLIN, MELANIE FRANKLIN, DANIELLA FRANKLIN, PASTOR AMANDA LILLIE, SEVII LILLIE(JOSEPH E LILLIE VII), KRISTINE BARRAMEDA LILLIE (IN FRONT KNEELING), PASTOR J LILLIE(JOSEPH E LILLIE V), JOSEPH E LILIE VI
This was the beginning of our Christmas journey as a family. A lot of familial water has flowed under the bridge of life since this picture was taken.
There were all my birthday celebrations and Thanksgiving with the kids, grandkids and nephews. What a blessed day that was.
ABIGAIL FRANKLIN (FOREGROUND CENTER), TYLER NEWTON (FAR LEFT FRONT CHAIR), SEVII LILLIE (HOLDING BALL), RYAN NEWTON (RECLINER), JOSEPH LILLIE, KRISTINE BARRAMEDA LILLIE, DANIELLA FRANKLIN, PASTOR AMANDA LILLIE, MELANIE FRANKLIN… THANKSGIVING 2024
There was the decorating of The Vicarage.
PASTOR J AND THE GRANDKIDS
And the decorating of the church.
JOHN RUSSELL, BUILDING AND GROUNDS, PUTTING UP THE BIG TREE AT CORNERSTONE.
Then the celebration began in earnest.
SEVII AND SANTA
There was breakfast with Santa and the Cookie Crawl.
FRANCINE (AKA PASTOR AMANDA) AND ABIGAIL START THE COOKIE CRAWL
And the town tree lighting.
MRS. CLAUS, SANTA CLAUS, MEALNIE FRANKLIN AND THE GIRLS
This week has been a whirlwind of parties. It started Saturday with our Deacon, Staff and DLT leader Christmas party.
DEBBIE PARKER AND PASTOR AMANDAJOE AND JODY CLAPPTHE FEASTING TABLE
Yesterday was a full day of connection and celebrating. It started at 9 AM with a meeting of the town, pastors at Sippin Serendippity.
Then it was on to Cornerstone’s weekly staff meeting. With the upcoming holidays, this will be our last staff meeting for 2024.
After that, I went to one of our DLT groups to join their Christmas party, and to discover the prophetic words from God they received during our sabbatical.

The SOUL SISTERS AND PASTOR J
Then, after a brief rest, I was off to the cornerstone youth Christmas party.
FUN AND GAMES
Today, I spent the day finishing up the decorations at the Vicarage and cooking for a dinner party we hosted this evening with some missionary friends.
This weekend, the Vicarage is hosting a cookie swap for the Tenney side of our family. I have to say I am really enjoying this Christmas journey.
When I went on sabbatical our congregation began to pray for prophetic words from God about our future work.
Over the last several weeks, since sabbatical ended, I have been gathering those “words of the Lord” from our congregation so that I might have a clearer perception of where God wants our church to go in the days ahead.
Over the last two years we have been functioning off of the word from our last sabbatical which was PREPARE.
I don’t yet know how these all fit together and I am not finished gathering all the words the congregation heard. I have a few more groups to meet with this week, but prophetically we are moving towards deliverance, light, prayer and care….somehow this is God’s next step.
It is definitely winter at the Vicarage now. I am feeding the birds everyday and just keeping ahead of their feeding frenzies. It tells me the last of the edibles in the forests are gone. The chickens are moving the hay I am providing for them, from one end of their enclosure to the other as they have need to keep the coop warm for their feet in the colder temperatures, and I am changing out their water twice a day now to keep it from freezing.
We are into the season of storms. Each day brings its own display of wind or precipitation and the sky is more often rheumy than not.
The day starts at 7 A.M., is gone y 4:30 P.M. and is bordered by several hours of wintry half light on each side. As we head towards the longest night of the year, I have to admit I am feeling affected by the darkness more than ever before.
To cope I am feeling led into still another deeper place of prayer. When not doing people work, I find myself bouncing back and forth between prayer and administrative work in about half hour increments.
I am feeling this necessary to keep my head on straight… and as a final work of preparation before the new year brings what I am sensing it will.
2024 has been a hard fought battle with many large changes. It began with my mother entering hospice care. Mom passed in April. Shortly after that my daughter was diagnosed with cancer and the summer was given to hospitalizations and treatments. My sister went back to her ministry in the Netherlands and my son and his family bought a condo and moved out. Lots of changes. I think part of the reason for this prayer rhythm is to help me grieve all the change and trouble. There is a piece of me that I think is just entering into the grieving process now. I feel like I have said that before. Maybe I am not just entering the process. Maybe I am just in a new phase, a phase that is going to require a lot more prayer.
BUT … these depths of prayer are not just about grieving the past. It is about preparing for the soon to come move of God. My daughter, Melanie, was telling me about a vivid dream she had the other night, and how she believed it was a word from God about how He was going to bring breakthrough in certain areas of our community. She also believes that we are being called, as a church, to partner with Him in these areas.
It reminded me of a conversation I recently had with another minister about the body of Christ needing to spend enough time in abiding prayer to bring heavenly realities into the earthly realm. I realize this is not just about me personally. God is beginning to call the church into deeper prayer because that is what it is going to take to bring forth the miracles we are going to need in the days ahead. We are heading toward the world’s longest night.In that space of darkness the church is going to need to bring its brightest light.
“Nevertheless, that time of darkness and despair will not go on forever….The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness,a light will shine.” Isa. 9:1,2
I admit box checking is something I fall into at times. I remember when I was a young minister and the idea of keeping a daily schedule and agenda was introduced to me. I said it was not a godly principle to live by man made lists. I was told by the person doing the training that if I did not learn to keep an agenda and live by a plan I would never be effective.
As I progressed in ministry the words of that particular teacher proved to be true. Life without a plan and without goals is chaos.
But what I said to the teacher also is true, at least in part. When the plan becomes all consuming, when the plan becomes god and takes God’s place, it becomes ungodly. Many of us become idolaters and slaves to our agendas. When the plan becomes the point or when my plans become more important than God’s plans then…Houston we have a problem.
So there is this tension. I can’t live effectively without making a plan, but in making the plan I face a temptation to make the plan more important than God. How do I avoid the trap?
2. Be a God first people second planner projects third planner. Remember that ministry is about God and people not programs or plans. When ministry becomes just a list of projects to get done you no longer have ministry you just have busy work. Every ministry plan must include God’s prayer plan for the minister (and if you don’t have prayer plan from God you don’t have a godly plan), and it must have connection to the community as its goal.
3. Learn to laugh with God at your plans. There is an old saying, “Man plans and God laughs.”
Even when we have done our best to pray through our plans and to prioritize the right things in our planning, there will be times when we miss it in our planning badly. I have had to learn to let my plans go when God shows up “out of the blue” to change them. I have had to learn to make light of these changes and to go with the flow of God’s interruption of the agenda. In fact, I am convinced that sometimes God allows me to make a plan He is going to ruin, just to see if I am willing to sacrifice my plans at the altar of obedience to Him.
WHAT ARE SOME THINGS YOU DO TO KEEP YOUR PLANNING FROM BECOMING AN IDOL IN YOUR LIFE?
Effectiveness will flow out of the strength of our connection to God in the days ahead. All of our natural ability, talent and giftedness will not be enough to meet the crises of the coming days. The mission God has for us will require His supernatural power and glory and that can only come through the health of our personal and community’s relationship with Him.
Salvation itself only requires the beginning of a connection with God through Jesus. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16
This is entry level faith. But kingdom effectiveness will be determined by the strength of our connection to God.
If we focus on our programs and methodology, our talents and our human abilities all we will accomplish is a striving after wind and burnout. We will never accomplish God’s great plan for our personal lives, our family lives, our church or community.
If we focus on the strength of our relationship with God, though, then all of God’s plans will flow through that relationship into our programs, plans, talents and abilities and then out through those supernaturally empowered conduits to accomplish His divine purpose.
This sabbatical has definitely been different from the last one I participated in. As I look back on it now I see that the pillars have been a bit different and I also see why they had to be different for God’s plan to be carried out during this time.
Of course prayer and Bible study was a pillar last time too, but this time I have been led to lay down between five and seven hours of prayer and Bible study most days. I have been reading the Bible cyclically. I am reading Genesis and then the next book of the Bible in order and then Genesis again.
The second pillar was rest breaks.
I attended the Fall Fest in Winchendon.
I went with my kids to Hollis Farms. I took lots of walks and many trips to Starbucks. I ate out quite a few times, and I binge watched The Rings of Power. At the end of this time I am going away to The SNEMN (Southern New England Ministry Network) Pastor’s Retreat on Cape Cod with my daughter Amandal.
The third pillar was new voices.
There were several new voices that spoke into my life this time around. Some of the voices I planned on hearing. Others came as quite a surprise.
I laid out sermon series, wrote budgets, finished ordination paperwork and even worked on missions methodology this month.
This sabbatical has definitely been more active than my last. I feel more connected to what is going on around me than I did last time, less sequestered. It has been good. It has been productive. It has been marginally relaxing. It has been vastly different than what I thought it would be. But I think that is OK.
Yesterday was a day of relationship. I talked with my sister in The Netherlands for about an hour and a half. We talked about the calling and how it moves and shifts in our lives creating a never-ending journey that we sometimes flow with and other times struggle with.
Then I went to breakfast with my son-in-law James Franklin, who has helped me out during this sabbatical by preaching for me.
We talked about the word of prophecy for our church Cornerstone.
After that, My son and I took a walk around the greater block of the Vicarage. I told him the history I knew of the schools in town: Old Murdock, Streeter, Poland, Wheeler. As we walked I talked to him about the people I knew in each house: Jack Bowler, the Sweeney’s, the Knocks, The Blacks, Mr. Otto. We noted the dates on many of the historic homes: 1840, 1791. How different was life back then?How different from my life was the life of Capt. Murdock or Morton Converse?
I said before that I had trouble finding mentors to speak into my life for this sabbatical. Maybe I didn’t have trouble. Perhaps I was resisted by God because He had already chosen those individuals who would speak into my life and they were much closer to home than I was willing to look.
The conversations I am having are much more organic than traditional mentorship conversations, but perhaps this time around they are the more resonant for their organic nature. In these conversations I am hearing the echoes of my deepest thoughts, even some of those hidden from me by myself. There are things being called to the surface I was unaware of.
Things like: I am an escapist at heart always trying to distract myself with petty entertainments when questions of legacy and leadership arise; I procrastinate because I have been infected by the spirit of lack that is epidemic in our land; The call is not convenient and it is not comfortable, but it is good for me in my truest self; There is a price to pay for a deeper walk with God and I need to pay that price.
I entered this season a little disappointed, maybe even a little concerned, because I had not been able to find my mentor(s). I know now that God is the One who always had charge of the arrangements for this season and He has chosen His best for me.
HAS GOD EVER SURPRISED YOU WITH A BETTER BEST THAN WHAT YOU THOUGHT WAS BEST?
Music, at least good music, takes its listeners on a journey. Most songs start small. They grow and shrink and grow again, leading the ear towards a pinnacle, a crescendo, that prepares the listener for what must be the ultimate end. If it’s a really good song it makes us long to hear more.
I am learning that there is a musical nature to the processes of community living. Those who are listening carefully can hear a song beginning in our community. It’s not a real song of course, it’s a process. But just like a really good song this process in our community has started small.
This weekend our town Parks and Rec Committee held a free community day based around the theme INTERNATIONAL
It was not very well attended, but it was fun!
THERE WERE GAMES FROM AROUND THE WORLD AND A TEA PARTY FOR THE KIDS.
Actually because the crowd size was small I sat and had tea ( it was mango juice, but the English accent Rajuli used as she served into the tiny paper tea cups held the atmosphere for me).
The director of the Parks and Rec Committee introduced me to one of the point people for the Winchendon Commission on Disability. We had tea…err mango juice together. It was fascinating to speak with my new acquaintance. We made small talk about the town. That turned to the people we knew in common and a rising sense of hope we both feel about what is happening in our little community. Then we went deeper and talked about the mindset that has helped her to maintain a mindset of abundance through her progressive disability. She told me that for her she does not look at her illness like a fight or a battle. She sees it more as a wave. She sees her job as accepting the power of the wave and using that power to her advantage by seeing what the wave is bringing her towards. Like I said fascinating and faith building!
After I spent some money here I went downtown to a music launch party for one of our church’s worship leaders. He has just put out two singles and is beginning to build his ministry platform.
Nothing we are doing is big yet, but what is happening in our community process is building to a crescendo. I am so excited about the song God is singing over us. It is a process of blessing and I can’t wait to hear more!
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
Notes From the Vicarage 