reality blog

This Day At the Vicarage 8-20-20

/ joseph elon lillie / 4 Comments

I just wanted to put a quick word in tonight before heading to bed. It’s been a busy couple of days at the Vicarage. By that I mean it has been busy in a slow constant, intentional way. Slow, constant and intentional is the way I try to pace myself now, even as the world tries to get me back to running full tilt like I used to do.

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I have known for years that I was supposed to be slowing down. I have said it to many of you over the decade of blogging. Many of my parishioniers have told me I should slow down. It just never seemed possible. Then at the end of last year God began to talk to me about a coming season I would spend in the “sage’s cave”. I didn’t realize it was going to take a pandemic to get me here, but now that I am in this space of deep lifestyle prayer I am not going back.

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That said I have had things to do these last two days that have kept me going at the top of my slow speed.

I met with my Sectional Presbyter yesterday (some of you might call him a bishop). I had to retake a portion of my latest credentialing test because of a clerical error. So it was off to Leominster MA to get that done. Then last night Amanda and I led The Wall Prayer meeting at Cornerstone.

The Wall is Cornerstone church’s remote prayer meeting. Amanda and I taught and prayed through “the prayer for strength” for our on line congregation.

Today started with me giving a singing lesson. Then once I got home the phone was very active with several pastoral calls. I ended the afternoon with a visit from one of the artists from our C.cada Community.

Lisa and I talked about the direction of our community. It is a conversation I am beginning to have with all of our artists. Pandemic has kept us from meeting since February. We have tried a few Zoom calls but they have not worked very well. So last month I began engaging people in on-line conversation and this month I am doing micro-gatherings with the artists to see how we are going to proceed: Facebook live teachings, micro gatherings and even virtual art shows are all on the table for discussion. I am encouraged by these winds of change and excited to see what God has for our next steps.

Well I have crossed the 11 P.M. zone and 4:30 A.M. is just around the corner; So I will sign off here saying…

I am looking forward to tomorrow dear friends.

Pastor J

This Day At the Vicarage 8-18-20

/ joseph elon lillie / 1 Comment

Since March the world has settled into a new rhythm.

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Five and a half months in, I have grown use to the new pace. I do wonder how much of my old routine I will even want back when the pandemic is over.

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Tuesdays is staff meeting day. Since our offices at the church are still not officially open, we meet by Zoom. A few staff members, including my daughter, vid in from the church office. I work from home.

So the rhythm for this day is: rise by 6 or 7, walk the dogs, pray, write the morning blogs, exercise, go to the store for mom’s daily supplies (papers, scratchies and cigs), then it is back home and with any time left before staff meeting I study and pray a bit more.

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In answer to the question you may have asked in the last paragraph, yes Mom smokes. She has for almost 60 years. Stopping at 85 would probably kill her. She has no wish to stop and I really have no wish to fight that battle.

To be honest smoking is one of the few things Mom enjoys now. Dementia has stolen from her the ability to be comfortable away from the house. She gets very nervous even going outside now because it is too confusing.

She likes her living room, her TV (The Hallmark channel almost exclusively), her newspapers with the crosswords, and suduko (which amazingly she can still do), the daily comics, which after she has read, she likes to color…AND she likes her cigarettes.

Her doctor has tried to get her to quit, even using the argument that it will lengthen her life. That argument does not work because Mom has no wish to lengthen her life here, She is beyond ready to move beyond and is, as the saying goes, “Waiting on God”.

I have to say being the child of a parent who is fighting the battle with dementia can be confusing and difficult. As we lose mom…as she loses herself by inches to this disease we are caught between the two ideas of losing her to death or losing her to dementia. Part of me wants to have her stay with us in any condition because I do not want her to go. Another part of me doesn’t want her to suffer the ravages of this horrible disease. Both mindsets come and go, and both of them feel selfish in turn.

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one of the reasons I love the pandemic rhythm is it has given all of us here at The Vicarage precious time to be together. To sit together. To watch TV together…. and it has given us time to talk, even if we do answer the same questions over and over, even if some of what is said is just silly.

Tonight after I had finished a remote sustainability seminar put on by a local resource group, I came down to sit with Mom, Brenda and Amanda. We were having a discussion about gall bladders….yes…. gall bladders.

Here is how it went in my daughter’s words

Convo with grandma…
Me: grandma do you still have your gallbladder?
Grandma: nope
Aunt Brenda: when did you lose your gallbladder
Grandma: I didn’t lose it…
Aunt Brenda: what do you…
Grandma: *interrupting aunt Brenda*… it got cut out
Everyone silent for a beat…then busts out laughing.

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This new rhythm is perhaps the most massive lifestyle change I have experienced since my divorce. It has been hard and uncomfortable Honestly, though, I never want to go back to normal if I can keep having conversations with Mom about gall bladders.

Well i have blathered on long enough tonight. So I will sign off here saying….

I am looking forward to tomorrow dear friends

Pastor J

This Day At the Vicarage 8-17-20

/ joseph elon lillie / 3 Comments

I started “Notes From the Vicarage” a little over a year and a half ago. My intention then was to give you all a glimpse into the life of our family of pastors.

Things have gone a little sideways since then and… well this blog hasn’t become all that I hoped it would be. I like what it is….but it needs something. It needs the curtain pulled back a bit so that you all get a better glimpse of what life for us is really like here at the Vicarage.

So I am going to try, as many times a week as I can, to do a new type of post. “This Day At the Vicarage” will be more of a journaling experiment than anything and I hope that you will enjoy the read.

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HERE WE GO.

Today would traditionally be my day off, but since pandemic started days off don’t mean the same thing. I got up at 4:30 A.M. to walk the dogs and then went back to bed until 9 A.M.

Mom, Brenda and I watched Perry Mason until 11 A.M. while Amanda drove to Lynn to watch Daniella (my grandaughter)

so that Melanie and James (my daughter and son-in-law) could go to Melanie’s baby appointment. YES MELANIE IS GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY!!!! Today was the day they found out the baby’s gender.

Melanie and James have picked out one boy name and one girl name. They have kept the names top secret until today and as a reveal they gave us the name of the baby according to his or her gender. Here’s the fun part…they gave us the name jumbled up and then told us that in order to find out the sex of the baby we would have unjumble the name.

Here is what they gave us: “Gybiavienaial”

SEE IF YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. LEAVE YOUR ANSWER DOWN IN THE COMMENTS SECTION BELOW.

Brenda and I went to a local eatery to try and figure out the name over sandwiches and sodas.

Then we took a ride down Rte. 124 into Fitzwilliam NH and then back into Winchendon MA to The Vicarage so we could take our precious little dogs for their afternoon walk.

We pulled in the drive to see this little guy. He was injured somehow and couldn’t fly. I was able to get him to take some water, but before I could get a box to put him in, he jumped away into the deep bushes at the end of the garden. 😦

In between all these goings on I managed to write my daily blogs and spend a few hours in prayer. I have been a feeling a bit out of balance these last few weeks. I think I am letting the world get to me. I know I am letting myself feel the expectations of the world around me a bit too much. Prayer is as always, for me, the answer.

After dinner which tonight was leftovers (DO YOU LIKE LEFTOVER NIGHT?) Brenda and I walked the dogs and spent about an hour on the porch in the gloaming. It was a great conversation regarding personalities and mental health. Yes that is the kind of stuff we sometimes discuss on our front porch.

The rain has come in at last and so I am finishing up for the night and heading off to bed.