Finding time….finding time….finding time. It’s one of the hardest things to do. I seem to get sidetracked so easily. I get worn down too quickly. I too willingly push aside the important for the urgent.

I am asking myself a lot of questions lately.

WHAT SAFEGUARDS DO I NEED TO CREATE TO HELP ME STAY IN TASK?

WHAT CAN I DO TO UP MY ENERGY LEVEL?

WHAT DO I NEED TO SAY NO TO MORE REGULARLY?

WHAT DO I NEED TO SAY YES TO MORE REGULARLY?

Yesterday was one of those straight out days. I was on the phone, in meetings, writing e-mails and filling out paperwork until 9 P.M.

I mentioned to my sister, when I spoke to her this morning, that my eyes hurt, and when she asked me how much screen time I had yesterday I suddenly realized why.

It also made me realize why I feel at this particular moment that I don’t have enough time. Surprise phone calls, unexpected e-mails that led to necessary urgent paperwork gobbled up my time yesterday and spilled over into today. These things made it impossible to complete my to do list. That made me feel like a failure. That caused me to eat extra candy which in turn caused me to feel groggy and less energetic.

So today I am making a new choice. I finished the calls. I answered the e-mails… and I filled out and mailed the urgent paperwork.

JOB DONE! Now I can stop thinking about it, move on and refocus.

I can look back and celebrate the fact that I did not entirely sabotage myself yesterday in what I realize now was a stress storm.

I may have had four pieces of dark chocolate. But I didn’t eat four Swiss Rolls! Go me!

Even though I missed writing yesterday I still got most of my essential reading done, my devotional video completed and posted. Even though

I did not do the filing I had on my schedule, but I did get the nursing home paperwork done and I still went through my financials.

And today the stress storm has passed.

I am back following my schedule.

I have logged my meals. I am back counting my steps

The regular house chores have been done: Dishes are done; Kitchen is cleaned; Roast is in the oven slow cooking; furnace has been filled with water; dehumidifier has been emptied; and the birds are fed

I have gone back to prepping for the fast which starts in two days (I had my last cup of coffee this morning).

And now I am writing A note to the Vicarage before the dogs start barking for their afternoon walk.

I guess I have to realize that there will always be those days that go off the rails and no amount of planning is going to salvage them. That said I am seeing that something has changed. Last year at this time when my days started getting hectic I just gave up:

I stopped writing.

I stopped counting my steps and fell off the diet going on to gain an additional twenty pounds by summer.

I just decided that since we were moving out of the house in May any way for renovations: sweeping the floors, cleaning the kitchen, bathrooms or shower were sort of unnecessary.

It’s a whole new year and my perspective has changed…grown.

I know the dogs will bark again soon I know another day off the rails is going to happen. But I think I am ready this time.