#reality

This Day At the Vicarage 9-18-20

/ joseph elon lillie / 1 Comment

I have come to call my position of prayer the Sage’s Cave. It is not so much a place or even a position but a state of mind.

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I started my prayer life (forty years ago now) like I imagine everyone does, with a list of things I hoped to get God to do. This kind of prayer is called petition/ intercession. Petitions are prayers for yourself (God heal my heart, God give me a new job). Intercession is prayer offered for others (God heal Sally’s heart, God give Sally a new job).

As I have grown into the Sage’s Cave I have found that the petition/intercession part of prayer has taken a very back seat in a rather large bus. It is not that there is anything wrong with petitions or intercessions. I still petition God for things. I still intercede for others. It is just that for me petitions and intercessions are the least relational prayers and I am very much more interested in knowing God and knowing what is on His mind than I am in getting stuff or things from Him.

I have somehow come to the position of seeking His face more than His hand as the song by Paul Wilbur says,

I do really struggle with this sometimes, because my prayer life is a lot of waiting and listening now. It feels like I am doing even less than I used to do in prayer and I know most people think prayer is useless unless it leads to an action of some kind.

I am learning to be content in the waiting. I am finding that is where the weight of God’s glory resides. Something inside of me tells me that waiting for His glory is my most important ministry now.

Sometimes as I am waiting. God gives me little things to do. Sometimes I see visions of things coming or of things already happening. Sometimes I get understanding of some Scriptural principle. Sometimes I get whole sermons. And then sometimes I just sit and hear nothing but the sound of my own breathing and the music or Scripture playing in the back ground.

Today I am moving towards three hours of waiting in a lot of sweet silence.

This Day At the Vicarage 9-17-20

/ joseph elon lillie / 3 Comments

I started the day hemming my Mother’s new pants for her Drs. appointment. No, I didn’t sew them. I cheated and used hem tape. Even knowing what hem tape was made me feel positively domestic.

Do you use hem tape or is that too much of a short cut for you?

If you read yesterday’s “Day At the Vicarage Post”, you will remember that today Mom had a cardiologist appointment which she was pretty nervous about. This morning I helped her get dressed and then we took off for the Dr’s. office. It’s in our local hospital building over in Gardner MA.

History

Mom now uses a wheel chair to get around the hospital for appointments. She tried to walk the first time we had an appointment here and that didn’t go so well. So now I have a system:

I drive her to the front of the building and help her get seated on one of the front benches. We have to have the mask conversation every time as she gets out of the car….

Mom: Why do I need this.

Me: Because of Covid.

Mom: Oh! Is that still a thing?

Me: Yep.

Mom (puts on the mask.) Wow! The world has really changed!

Me: It sure has.

After this I park the car in clergy parking….because I’m clergy….to which Mom responds “You have your own parking space at the hospital? Impressive.”

I go to the little check in tent next and requisition a wheelchair which means I ask the super bored door monitors where the wheel chairs are. They point. I go and get one.

Get the medical care you need during COVID-19, USC health experts urge

Once I get Mom comfortable seated in the chair we go through the check in procedure….the questions….the responses…..the washing of hands….the directions to the particular office….the reminder that we cannot wander around the hospital…the giving of our little tag which tells the hospital staff where we are supposed to be.

Today we got to the office just in time to fill out the forms needed and then we were off to the races. Weight, height, medicine list, EKG and then the big wait for the Dr.

“I hope he’s nice.” Mom said. “How’s my hair?”

Then the Dr. came in. It all went better than expected. The Dr. said her results showed normal calcification of the heart valves for someone her age and since she is not displaying adverse symptoms and is already on all the meds he would recommend he saw no reason Mom had to come back to him.

Here is our parting salvo with the Dr.

Dr. Gibson: Of course you know they pay me to tell people to quit smoking.

Mom has a pack a day habit.

Misty Blue 120's, Box

Mom: And how much do they pay you to do that Dr.?

Dr. Gibson: Not enough!

Mom: That’s probably because you are not very good at it.

Shocked-Face - ChangingLives2Pure - Healthy Living Inside & Out

Well that about sums up the day.

I am looking forward to tomorrow Dear Friends.

Pastor J

This Day At the Vicarage 9-16-20

/ joseph elon lillie / 6 Comments

Mom has a Drs. appointment tomorrow with a cardiac specialist.

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She is actually pretty nervous. Though of course, she would deny that if you asked her. I can tell she is nervous because today was the day we had to try on her new “Dr’s. Office Clothes”.

Mom hates to wear anything new. I have bought her several new pairs of pants. She likes her old ones. I have bought her several new shirts. She hates them. The problem is, her old clothes have holes in them. They are just worn out. I do not mind her wearing them around the house but I am not letting her out the front door in them. I am certainly not taking her to the Dr’s. in them.

Today I wanted her to try on the new shirt and pants I had for her. The string of obscenities launched at me for that infraction is what let me know she is nervous about the consult. She doesn’t want to hear what she already knows. She doesn’t want to have said to her what she says to us everyday. That is, “She is dying by inches.”

She can confess it she just doesn’t want to have it said back to her. It is that way with a lot of things around here: If we deny the roof is 50 years old maybe it won’t leak; If we don’t go out on the stone porch maybe it will stop crumbling; If we don’t look out the back windows maybe the giant dead maples won’t fall on our house.

Are you in denial? Read about how to get over being in denial.

I like denial as much as the next guy, but it is no solution to real life problems. Mom is not at a place where she can face the problems on her own. So I am going with her into those problems.

Goodbye Denial… we'll miss you! - Horses for Sources

I called the roofers and they fixed the roof. I called the tree guy. Our dead trees are stuck in some town committee, but at least we are in process. There are a bunch of other things to do, but it is not denial that is stopping them from getting done now just a lack of time and cash.

The Dr. may give us a bad report tomorrow. At least we will know what we are dealing with. Then again maybe we will get a line on some treatment for her circulation no one has thought of yet.

This Day At the Vicarage 9-15-20

/ joseph elon lillie / 3 Comments

It has been a busy week at the Vicarage. I guess the pace really picked up last Friday. As Brenda had her first full day at the apple orchard, I performed a funeral and then mowed the lawn at our local art gallery. Meanwhile, Amanda did her on-line children’s church lesson and prepped for Sunday.

Saturday was church clean up day. About twenty of us raked leaves, pulled weeds, dug up saplings and cut down a few bigger trees.

By the time Amanda and I got home from this we both needed Motrin and a nap.

Sunday of course was church. After service one of our congregants had a medical emergency. Thankfully a family from church was able to get her to urgent care. Afterwards, while the family got the lady settled back into her home, Amanda, Brenda and I took a trip to the pharmacy to pick up the meds she needed and brought them to her house.

The last two days I have been out to this dear lady’s home to help her with groceries and banking. Today we went for a follow up to the Dr. The report was that the Dr. wants to check in with her again in another week so…..

Cheshire Medical Center | D-HH Locations | Dartmouth-Hitchcock

I have a feeling a few of us are probably going to be spending a lot of time here in the next few weeks.

In the middle of this time several of my posts have begun to require a bit more time to create. It’s a good thing, but I am finding I am falling behind in my reading of other blogs.

Frowning Face Emoji (U+2639, U+FE0F)

Oh well….Life is all about the seasons. God is the author of each one and we must accept them as they come. It is our job to learn how to utilize the different blessings each season of life provides.

This season is really changing how our church operates as a body. We are deepening the sense of family we have. We are becoming more important to each other. We are learning to be together in new and deeper ways. We are learning what it means to be a people of faith, hope and love.

It seems these lessons should have been learned a long time ago. Maybe the theory has always been there. Now we are being forced to put the theory into practice. It feel like the New TEstament is becoming very real to us right now.

Living Word New Testament - Posts | Facebook

The Lord is doing good things!

I cannot wait to see what tomorrow brings Dear Friends.

Pastor J

THIS DAY AT THE VICARAGE 9-12-20

/ joseph elon lillie / 1 Comment

The dogs and I got up at 4 A.M. this morning to begin the day. It is just before 6 now and they have had their morning outing and are now eating second breakfast. Well, Mercedes is pushing the breakfast bowl around inside the eating crate trying to bury second breakfast so she can eat it later for elevenses.

Jacopo and Mercedes

It has been a busy few days here at the Vicarage. Brenda has been working some long hours at the apple orchard in Harvard MA and Amanda has been working some long hours at the church.

I have been running between the Vicarage and visitations and what not. Yesterday I had a funeral over in Athol MA and then I had to mow the lawn up at the art gallery up the street after supper.

The art gallery gig is something I picked up early in the summer when I saw the President of our art association out mowing the lawn herself on a hot summer day. She is a lady who has had to have major heart surgery and is heading for knee surgery so the little voice that guides had me approach her and offer to take over the lawns.

I am not what you would call a great land scaper or anything. I own a lawn mower and I know how to start it. I think that qualifies me for what I am doing (though I am sure some would disagree).

Here’s the thing… I often remind my congregants they don’t have to be experts at the Bible in order to share Jesus. All they have to be is available to love, listen and share what they know. God will handle the rest. Further sharing the love of Christ is not so much about what you say. It is about what you do.

That conversation brings me back to our Wednesday night on-line Bible study and prayer session for this week. We talked about Rizpah Saul’s daughter-in-law. I guess I will sign off today by leaving you with a copy of that study. I hope it blesses you.

I am looking forward to tomorrow Dear Friends.

Pastor J

This Day At the Vicarage 9-10-20

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We are just returning from walking the dogs for their last time tonight. The night air is that sloppy mixture of fall moisture and late summer heat that makes the world a clammy box of night time slime. It isn’t raining exactly but the rolling fog leaves me feeling damp and somehow dirty.

We made it just around the first corner tonight when we noted a family walking three dogs: two little ones on leashes and a black lab off leash. Our two boys immediately started barking in the gathering dark. The lab looked up from his meander not taking much interest. Still, neither Brenda nor I were in much of a state to take on a wandering “big dog” should the need arise. We turned around and headed back to the Vicarage. The dogs did their business and are now off to bed.

I think Brenda will not be far behind. She started work at an apple orchard today. The orchard is owned by the nephew of one of our deacons at Cornerstone. His Aunt is doing the scheduling for the orchard. The Aunt has offered part time positions to several people in our church. It is an open door so Brenda has walked through. Who nows what wonders it will lead to?

Walking through open doors...God opens doors that no man can close. Believe that! #opportunity | Greatful, Doors, Opportunity

While Brenda was off sorting apples, I taught a music lesson and then visited one of the members of our congregation. Amanda went in to the church to do some administration work and then went to do our grocery shopping.

Our lives are all moving in separate direction every day. Tomorrow Brenda will be back at the apple orchard, I will be conducting a funeral service and Amanda will be preaching an on-line children’s sermon. Yet somehow God keeps our schedules in some kind of synchronicity so we can do this thing called family. We meet in the middle around the meals I cook (not that anyone greatly admires my cooking but they all put on a brave face). Then we are off again on our tethers to do the work that God has given us to do. There is coming a time soon when this walk in the world’s evening will be done. A big dog, off leash, is coming and God is going to be turning us towards our true home. That truth makes me wonder how important all our doing right now really is. Maybe it is vastly important because these are the last works the church will do in the church age. Maybe it is all just obeying the leash holder on a walk through the park. Which ever it may be, I am going to obey the tug of the lead whichever way it goes and when we come to that final door. I will walk through.

Walking Through the Open Door | From the Desk of Keith Duncan

This Day At the Vicarage 9-8-20

/ joseph elon lillie / 4 Comments

I often write with music playing softly in the background. Somehow the rhythm and the sound help me to focus on what it is I need to say. It is like the sound draws the words out of me.

Maybe that has something to do with my years as a worship pastor. I remember one of my mentors teaching me that in order to lead worship effectively, I needed to be able to move beyond the place where I played music into the place where the music played me.

Yesterday I wrote to an Epic Celtic Album on Youtube. Tonight I am playing the Easters. Somehow their music fills me with hope and just a touch of melancholy. Those things might not seem to go together. Maybe they don’t. Maybe they are polar opposites like the yellow and purple on a color wheel.

Color Wheel Primer | HGTV

Maybe that tension is what I am looking for when I write or when I sing or when I do art. Maybe it is what I need. Maybe it is what is required for me to move into my muse. The muse would be God ,so I guess that makes sense. The tension….the inner conflict somehow drives me to seek the Lord and in that seeking I find my creative spark. And that creative spark is the pathway to the music playing me instead of me playing the music or in this case it is the pathway to the space where the Writer reveals to me my story rather than me striving to make it up.

There’s a whole book in there somewhere. The tension is rising within me and that means the story is about to arrive.

Now I am really looking forward to tomorrow dear friends.

Pastor J

This Day At the Vicarage 9-7-20

/ joseph elon lillie / 1 Comment

Yesterday I was back at my usual job for a Sunday morning, as on-line pastor. I am really enjoying this new work. My job starts at about 9:15 A.M. I open my computer and start “inviting people to church”. Mostly that just involves a check in on Facebook Messenger.

Mad At Computer Png - Guy Working On A Computer , Free Transparent Clipart - ClipartKey

I sign onto the church livestream when it comes on, and then from my little perch in the church cafe I begin to engage with people attending the on-line service: I comment as the sermon goes along; I “like” and comment on what other people are saying; Sometimes I move to a private message format so I can go a little deeper with people who are popping up on my feed or sometimes even just in my head.

Who I don’t see walking through the church door in the morning or on-line is just as important as who does come to our service in physical form or through the internet. When someone is missing for a bit I use service time to try and find them virtually. Yesterday I missed several people so I sent messages to them during service.

Yesterday I also used the time to launch a remote fellowship campaign with our artist’s group. In two weeks time we will be starting an artist version of chopped.

Chopped | Food Network

One of our artists is donating boxes full of art supplies and so we will make up boxes for all the participating artists and each artist will have a month to create a work of art using all the implements in the box. At the end of the month we will do on-line reveals for the whole artistic community.

Church is definitely different now. People of God are having to find new and creative ways to connect around the Word of God, fellowship and prayer. I don’t know when or if it will go back to what it used to be. Honestly, I am having fun facing these new challenges. I am not sure I want it to go back.

Well, I have blathered on long enough. It is time to sign off for the night.

I am looking forward to tomorrow Dear Friends.

Pastor J