reality blog

Christmas At the Vicarage 2019

/ joseph elon lillie / 1 Comment

My dreams for Notes From the Vicarage were so big when I started. I had this vision of giving the blogosphere a glimpse into the life of a ministry family that is unique in its makeup and experience (at least it seems that way to me). One of the drawbacks of ministerial life however has gotten in the way. BUSYNESS!

So much has happened since August and contending with all of it has taken up so much time that there was little time left over to write about it. But now that the holidays are over…or almost over, I am coming back to this template to try again to open a portal into our world.

Christmas at the Vicarage was a small affair. That is Christmas Day was a small affair. The Christmas season was as big as ever. We had several parties to attend. There was Christmas shopping and wrapping. My sister attended an annual cookie bake. We decorated two trees at our house and of course the church had its own decorating day right after Thanksgiving. Our artist’s community had two caroling opportunities one at the town’s annual historic Christmas house tour and the other as we went to several elderly complexes to share the joy of the season. It all culminated in our church’s annual Christmas Eve candlelight service which was absolutely wonderful.

So a quiet Christmas Day was well in order. We had 7 to Christmas brunch. That may not seem small to you but when you compare it to our church receptionist Wendy’s gathering of 35 or our Board secretaries gathering of 64 well…I’ll take 7!

James, Melanie and Daniella arrived at about 9:30 in the morning. That was perfect timing. It gave Mom time to wake up and prepare herself but not enough time to fall into her usual doldrums over the holidays. Daniella has this magical power to lift my mother’s spirits.


I made stuffed French toast, turnovers, sausages, a pasta dish, a fritata and cole slaw. We broke out the egg nog, wassail and apple cider. Then after we had brunch we opened gifts.


Amanda made this stuffed Yoda. It was Melanie’s gift to her husband James. I have such talented daughters.

James had to be to work so the Franklin family left at about 1:30 in the afternoon and then it was naps all around and then the traditional evening at the movies. We saw Jumanji II!

Does it seem odd to you that a ministry family would go to the movies on Christmas Day?

Winter At the Vicarage

/ joseph elon lillie / 2 Comments

Winter has come to the Vicarage for the holidays. As Thanksgiving closed out the storms came in. We have had about 28 inches dumped on us over the last week. For those of you who use the metric system that is 71 centimeters. Most of that came in one storm or set of storms depending on how you look at it.

As you can see, the new fallen snow has melted back a bit after a few days of warm weather and it is truly beautiful now.

From here through the end of March we will be in a weather pattern of alternating snow and rain if the trend from the last couple of years holds. Last night it poured and this brook flooded as it has been doing the last few years filling the back yard.

When I awoke this morning that little fire pit was submerged in the water up to its base.

Tell me what it looks like where you live.

The Many Threads At the Vicarage

/ joseph elon lillie / 2 Comments

I had this thought when I started “Notes From the Vicarage” that somehow we as a family were going to come to this year with all its craziness, all its transition, all its busyness and hullabaloo and still somehow we were going to be able to lay down all of that in an orderly and succinct fashion. I pictured our story at the Vicarage laying down in nice neat lines or perhaps even a beautifully woven tapestry, the design of which would be easily discernible by even the untrained eye. It hasn’t worked out like that at all

I am always talking to Pastor Dan (my lead pastor) about the prophetic threads flowing through our church. I somehow thought that “Notes From the Vicarage” would help me to see the order in the chaos of all the threads. I do believe it will still do that for me. Right now, though, all it is doing is showing me more threads. those threads have always been there, I just wasn’t seeing them before I started writing.

There are: threads of ministry, threads of personal health, threads of artistry, threads of aging, threads of family and family change, threads of mid life, threads of friendships growing and waning, threads of goodness, threads of evil and so many others which I have barely even touched on yet. This blog has helped me to see all those threads from new angles. I still cannot see that pattern they make, maybe I never will, maybe I am not supposed to.

I was talking to God about all these threads the other day and asking Him to help me understand them. I was striving so hard for understanding and then God came and told me to stop looking at the threads and to start looking at Him.

He said, “Son the nature of prophecy is not in looking at the world and trying to understand it. The nature of prophecy is in looking at God and allowing Him to explain what He wants you to know of the world.”

I still see all those threads. I’m just not looking at them as much anymore. At least that is what I am working at.

Mother’s Day At the Vicarage: The New Normal

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Here in America, we are celebrating Mother’s Day. We have two Moms to celebrate today.

Great Grandma
New Momma

This is Melanie’s first Mother’s Day. Since she lives an hour away and since church and lunch for Mom will keep my day pretty busy through day’s end, I will not get a chance to see her until my day off tomorrow (weekends are not weekends for pastor’s they are more like Thursdays and Fridays). I am looking forward to spending time with Melanie, her husband James and my granddaughter Dani.

Mom does not go out anymore. I don’t mean by that, she is a happy homebody. I mean she doesn’t like to go out on the front porch for more than a few minutes. Getting her to sit on the lawn for a midsummer’s picnic is major event and going to the doctor is something we have to begin talking her into two weeks in advance. So for us Mother’s Day is going to be low key.

I remember my grandmother (Mom’s mom) went through this as her mind weakened in her later years. I am watching as my aunts go through this same thing and as my cousins fight to keep their moms from becoming total recluses. It is one of the many facets of this disease that is very hard to watch…the disconnection from the world.

Part of working through this process of slow loss is in embracing what is in the moment and making that special. We may not be able to take Mom out for dinner or to the beach or on any other family outing but that doesn’t mean we cannot celebrate. Brenda, Amanda and I have decided, we will bring in Chinese food and then later go pick up Sundaes from the local ice cream stand she loves so much and bring them home. If it stops raining I may even get outside and get some more of the yard done so that even if she will not go out and sit in it she can view it from the window.

Our family is one of the many coming to terms with dementia or Alzheimer’s. It is not the easiest of walks but we are blessed to have Mom with us for this year long experiment of complicated living.

What are you doing for Mother’s Day?

THE INTINERATION GAUNTLET

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The gauntlet began yesterday for Brenda. She preached at Living Word Assembly of God in Worcester MA. Her original plan was to preach, have lunch and then hit the road to get as far South as she could by 8 P.M. She was heading to the Appalachian District Council in West Virginia.

When she got to Worcester though she realized she had forgotten an essential bag of supplies for the council. So after lunch she traveled the hour back to the Vicarage for the bag.

She finally hit the road about 4:30 P.M. last night and made it as far as Bethlehem PA before stopping for the night.

She got a fresh start this morning and was to her venue sometime around 5 P.M. She has a suite!

It looks like a nice place to rest her head for the next few days. Be praying that she is able to make some connections with new supporters for the ministry.

If you would like to help Brenda with the building The Bridge Artist’s Ministry you can contact her at THE BRIDGE ARTISTIC NETWORK