Every year for the last two decades or so, our church has hosted a 21 day fast. Each year is a little different, but each year is a time of deep spiritual introspection for our church, as each of us fast and take time to pray privately And corporately.
This this year, we are partnering with The Worship Room House of Prayer in our hometown of Winchendon. The Worship Room is hosting three hours a day of prayer for the next 21 days.
I just came from my first two hour prayer session of this fast. I am sensing that this year. God will use this fast to prepare us for a move of supernatural signs and wonders, miracles to take place over the coming year.
I do believe miracles happen. I also believe they are about to happen to us.
I am sitting at the dining table eating left over Chinese food, thinking about the year past and the year ahead.
2024 was a hard year. I don’t think I have really stopped to meditate on just how hard it was. I certainly haven’t allowed myself to feel the hardness. It was a year of death and a year of sickness for our family. It was a year that brought earth shaking change to our lives, identities and ministries. We are not the same people we were at the end of 2023.
Last night we celebrated the New Year as a family at The Vicarage.
New Year’s Eve was our gift exchange this year. I got designer coffee! My son Joe got tools. The kids got play dough and toys. The ladies got winter clothing. James got a book he had been wanting to read. It was a good night topped off by our traditional meal…. Chinese food
It was also a game night.
To say I am not a good game player is an understatement, but other members of the family are. It was a quiet and comforting way to spend the last day of this very difficult year.
Today I am catching up on chores, and putting Christmas away. As I write this note between loads of laundry I am thinking about what the Lord has already told us about 2025.
My personal words for the year are: PRACTICE THE PRESENCE…
Here are some other things we have learned about 2025 from the last few months of 2024.
Amanda has heard- Focus and Watch. 1 Peter 5:8 State alert for your great enemy the Devil stalks about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. Focus on the right thing not similar distractions because there will be good things and God things. See the potential particularly in our children. Don’t overlook the small things in life or neglect the potential of small things. Watch is the word, Gregorio. Its definition is- Keeping your eyes on the truth.
James has heard- We are children of THE KING. The time has come to act like it. We are an already not yet people. We have the victory but we now have to posses this in the Spirit. We need to use our spiritual authority.
Kristine has heard-Dwell! Dwell in the presence of the Lord and the presence of the Holy Spirit. Claim the victory. Psalm 139 teaches us that God is all knowing.He knows every detail of our lives and even when we don’t see it, He is working in our lives. We need to remember that He knows the end of our stories and the progress of the journey.
Yesterday my sister and I were on Messenger talking and this prophetic word came –
And this is what the Lord says, open your eyes, I am bringing you into a spacious place. This is the culmination of over a half a century of My work. I have hidden this from the enemy as I have hidden this from you, but this is about neither of you and both of you. The enemy can see the size and shape of this thing, but even he does not know what it is any more than you know what it is. you were chosen for this. your family was chosen for this. You each have your part to play. I have prepared you. I have called you by name. Now prepare yourselves. Gird yourselves and answer me like a human, where were you when I laid the foundations of the storehouses of the snow?
It is definitely winter at the Vicarage now. I am feeding the birds everyday and just keeping ahead of their feeding frenzies. It tells me the last of the edibles in the forests are gone. The chickens are moving the hay I am providing for them, from one end of their enclosure to the other as they have need to keep the coop warm for their feet in the colder temperatures, and I am changing out their water twice a day now to keep it from freezing.
We are into the season of storms. Each day brings its own display of wind or precipitation and the sky is more often rheumy than not.
The day starts at 7 A.M., is gone y 4:30 P.M. and is bordered by several hours of wintry half light on each side. As we head towards the longest night of the year, I have to admit I am feeling affected by the darkness more than ever before.
To cope I am feeling led into still another deeper place of prayer. When not doing people work, I find myself bouncing back and forth between prayer and administrative work in about half hour increments.
I am feeling this necessary to keep my head on straight… and as a final work of preparation before the new year brings what I am sensing it will.
2024 has been a hard fought battle with many large changes. It began with my mother entering hospice care. Mom passed in April. Shortly after that my daughter was diagnosed with cancer and the summer was given to hospitalizations and treatments. My sister went back to her ministry in the Netherlands and my son and his family bought a condo and moved out. Lots of changes. I think part of the reason for this prayer rhythm is to help me grieve all the change and trouble. There is a piece of me that I think is just entering into the grieving process now. I feel like I have said that before. Maybe I am not just entering the process. Maybe I am just in a new phase, a phase that is going to require a lot more prayer.
BUT … these depths of prayer are not just about grieving the past. It is about preparing for the soon to come move of God. My daughter, Melanie, was telling me about a vivid dream she had the other night, and how she believed it was a word from God about how He was going to bring breakthrough in certain areas of our community. She also believes that we are being called, as a church, to partner with Him in these areas.
It reminded me of a conversation I recently had with another minister about the body of Christ needing to spend enough time in abiding prayer to bring heavenly realities into the earthly realm. I realize this is not just about me personally. God is beginning to call the church into deeper prayer because that is what it is going to take to bring forth the miracles we are going to need in the days ahead. We are heading toward the world’s longest night.In that space of darkness the church is going to need to bring its brightest light.
“Nevertheless, that time of darkness and despair will not go on forever….The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness,a light will shine.” Isa. 9:1,2
The morning broke cold today. The chicken’s water had turned to ice and the world was colored with frost.
Photo by Jessica Lewis ud83eudd8b thepaintedsquare on Pexels.com
When I started sabbatical the autumn was in full swing. The nights were cool but not cold and the days were warm. I felt like I had some time to batten down the hatches for winter.
A month later and I realize my time to batten is running out. There is an urgency now to the work of getting ready for the long dark to come.
I feel the same urgency in the spirit. I have come back to my regular church life feeling like things have changed. We must finish with our preparations quickly and be ready for a season of powerful, prophetic, good news ministry. I feel like our greater community is in need of prophetic good news.
I was going to wait until the turn of the year to begin meeting with our DLT (Doing life Together) groups to listen to what God had showed them through our sabbatical month of prayer. I know now there isn’t time for that.
God says, “I am on the move. Will you trust me for my move?… my way? I have a great plan for my family. Cling to hope. It will not look the way you think it should but I am doing a great work. Cling to hope. I am on the move!”
This morning was my last Sunday of sabbatical. I opted to stay in and watch our church service with guest preacher, Carrie Hackett from home.
During a waiting time in the music portion of the service I received a very strong prophetic message from God. Here is what I sensed
. The days ahead are days of supernatural deliverance! The power of the Spirit is going to begin flowing and moving in even more miraculous ways. Generational and ancient strongholds are about to be overthrown, but the ground is going to be hard won. Only the power of the Spirit will avail, no mortal weapons will do in these battles.
Do not look for the dramatic , bombastic, instantaneous deliverances that have characterized the places of so many flashy dreams. Look for the move of small stones. Let there be an embracing of steps that bring compounding glory and progressive deliverance. Expect and do not despise the day of small things.
Rejoice in each advance and encourage each other in every setback. Pray the power over each other continually without ceasing and walk in the Spirit until all that is to be done is done! Inch by inch the ground will be won. Do not be afraid!The center will hold until I call you forth.”
This sabbatical has definitely been different from the last one I participated in. As I look back on it now I see that the pillars have been a bit different and I also see why they had to be different for God’s plan to be carried out during this time.
Of course prayer and Bible study was a pillar last time too, but this time I have been led to lay down between five and seven hours of prayer and Bible study most days. I have been reading the Bible cyclically. I am reading Genesis and then the next book of the Bible in order and then Genesis again.
The second pillar was rest breaks.
I attended the Fall Fest in Winchendon.
I went with my kids to Hollis Farms. I took lots of walks and many trips to Starbucks. I ate out quite a few times, and I binge watched The Rings of Power. At the end of this time I am going away to The SNEMN (Southern New England Ministry Network) Pastor’s Retreat on Cape Cod with my daughter Amandal.
The third pillar was new voices.
There were several new voices that spoke into my life this time around. Some of the voices I planned on hearing. Others came as quite a surprise.
I laid out sermon series, wrote budgets, finished ordination paperwork and even worked on missions methodology this month.
This sabbatical has definitely been more active than my last. I feel more connected to what is going on around me than I did last time, less sequestered. It has been good. It has been productive. It has been marginally relaxing. It has been vastly different than what I thought it would be. But I think that is OK.
YOU CANNOT FIND THE MOVE OF GOD BY CHASING OTHER CHURCH’S REVIVALS. THE MOVE OF GOD MUST BE FORMED IN YOUR HEART, AND THAT IS DONE BY BEING STILL AND KNOWING HE IS GOD.
Today I am thinking about how different this sabbatical is from my last one.
FIRST THE SEASON IS DIFFERENT.
My last sabbatical was in the summer…. August as I remember. I spent a lot of time sitting on my front porch and praying. I didn’t have a garden, so aside from mowing the lawn I did little yard work. This sabbatical is an autumn sabbatical. It has been too cold to sit on my front porch to pray, and the fall is a more busy season around the Vicarage anyway. I have a list as long as my arm to accomplish before winter: Gardens to harvest and clean, bulbs to get in the ground for next year’s flower garden, windows and doors to plastic, a chicken coop to winterize, herbs to dig up and move into the house for a window garden over the winter, and a house fall cleaning to finish up.
SECOND THE VICARAGE IS DIFFERENT
We were just at the tail end of construction on the Vicarage last time. I remember being frustrated that we had to have the outside pipes dug up because a root had grown through one of them and the deconstruction of the front porch exacerbated the problem causing our cellar to fill with waste. This time around the Vicarage is definitely more settled. We are in maintenance mode, not project mode.
The social atmosphere of the Vicarage is different too. Back in 2022 it was me, Amanda and Mom living in the house. Amanda was at work most of the time and Mom was just starting with Ibis Health a chronic care health agency. It was the beginning of our season of eye to eye caregiving. Mom could no longer be alone and we were just figuring out how to make all that happen. We had only just hired Sunday help so I used Sundays as my breakaway day instead of going to any church as it was really the only time I could get away from The Vicarage.
This year it is me Amanda, Joe, Kristine and Sevy. We are still grieving Mom’s passing last April. In some ways, I feel like with everything else going on this year, I haven’t really begun grieving her loss. Having a two year old in the house definitely changes the dynamic energy of the house, and just this month Joe and Kristine had a bid accepted on a condo so now we are in the throes of preparing for their move on November 1st.
In my last sabbatical I had a list of questions to pray through and I met with a mentor twice to discuss and coach around my thinking about these questions. This time around as hard as I tried to find a coach or mentor none of those I approached were able to accommodate. Instead God has set up several conferences for me to attend through the month and instead of questions I have been a list of tasks I need to accomplish before I return to a “normal” ministry schedule. Some of these tasks are personal, some are professional but they all are causing me to think about what the future should look like from God’s perspective.
The world is changing. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that my methodology of visioning for that change also needs to change. But I have to admit I am a bit surprised.
ARE YOU SURPRISED BY CHANGES YOU ARE GOING THROUGH?
Yesterday I harvested the last of the vegetables from the garden and began moving some of the herbs indoors for the winter. The temperatures are starting to get below forty during the nights now so it is time to start putting the outer Vicarage to bed and getting everything set for winter.
Photo by Anna Tukhfatullina Food Photographer/Stylist on Pexels.com
Early morning view from the Vicarage
Today I filled out the paperwork for my ordination and began looking at all the church budgets for FY25 which are due by the end of the month for review by our church finance committee.
“The next season will be about deliverance. Like repentance, deliverance is more about what you are moving toward than what you are moving away from. In fact you will never be delivered until you have a firm vision of what you are getting in place of what you are giving up and until you believe that what you are getting is better than what you are leaving behind.”
