A JUMPY RHYTHM

April 12, 2023 / joseph elon lillie / 3 Comments

In school my first instrument was flute.

My second instrument was piano.

As an instrumentalist I always struggled with timing. The instruments I chose to play did not help me with my timing at all. As a worship leader I was famous for slowing down fast songs and speeding up slow songs. I guess it became kind of my hallmark.

As in music so in life.

I have trouble keeping a constant rhythm in this life. Again my chosen vehicle for maintaining rhythm in life is probably not helping. Ministry is a constant switching up of rhythms. Each day is different in workload and pace: Yesterday I cancelled staff meeting, had lunch with missionaries and taught a group of young boys about Easter in the evening.

Today I am shoring up, the services I have for the rest of the week, my afternoon meeting cancelled and I am off tonight.

Tomorrow I have a meeting in the morning, in the afternoon and at night

Friday I am taking a three hour drive up to Claremont and back to visit a parishioner on hospice and then I have a medical appointment for my mother

Saturday I have a seminar in the middle of the day and have to get ready for the first preach of our new series on Sunday.

Each day comes with its own rhythm and so I find myself constantly trying to create new anchors for standard practices.

. I have figured out my morning schedule pretty well.

My afternoon and evening schedules…..well they are a work in progress.

I think what I struggle with is decision fatigue. The later in the day it gets the harder it is for me to decide how to maintain a rhythm once it gets knocked off kilter. Once a rhythm is blown it takes me hours, sometimes days to get it back into a semblance of order.

A good example happened on Monday. I had a funeral.

Performing funerals is a rhythm unique to my work. Monday is usually my day off, but when a funeral come,s a funeral comes and days off get switched up, rhythms get shifted. This funeral came between 11 A.M. and 1 P.M. followed by men’s group at 7 P.M Usually I have off from Sundays afternoon until Monday evening.

I handled the initial rhythm shift well. But I was not prepared for how it would back me for the next days. Since Monday I have been having difficulty keeping my rhythm steady. I am finding myself suddenly changing course or plans midstream, getting distracted, losing focus, making decisions too fast or too slow. Saying yes when I should say no and saying no when I should say yes in a number of little business and ministry circumstances.

This morning in my early morning prayer time I sat before God and said, “God I realize I have temporarily lost control. Help me to begin anew. I can’t seem to get my rhythm back on my own so help me.”

Prayer is always answered. He is helping. My writing this blog is evidence that a rhythm has been restored.

WHAT DO YOU DO TO RESTORE LIFE RHYTHM WHEN IT GETS OUT OF WHACK?

Let It Begin

April 8, 2023 / joseph elon lillie / 3 Comments

Spring has arrived. With it comes the possibility of outdoor work. The porch needs to be cleaned and set up for the summer.

The fence I bought last fall needs to be set up

The broken stonework needs to be fixed

The critters winter Burroughs need to be filled in with cement.

The old stone porch needs to be repurposed into stone walls and planters.

Two brush piles await the fire pit.

The sumac stands need to be cut back so the pathways are passable through the gardens.

And the old garden beds need to be done away with and resettled into their new locations.

So that’s my list for now. Let it begin.

WHAT DOES YOUR OUTDOOR SPRING CLEANING LIST LOOK LIKE?

POOR RECEPTION AND BUTT DIALS

April 7, 2023 / joseph elon lillie / 1 Comment

This has been a day of phone foibles.

It is funny how we have come to rely on these little devices for so much of life and how much of an inconvenience they can cause when they don’t work the way we want them too.

I like to talk to my family in the morning on a group messenger call. I don’t get to every morning but at least every other day I like to try. Normally when I travel up to see my ward Grace, in Claremont NH, I don’t have service so I usually miss those days of chatting with the kids and my sister.

Since Grace has gone on hospice, I try to make the trip to see her every Friday religiously (pun intended).

Last Friday I discovered that the towns just North of our town border must have put in a new cell tower, because I got reception for a family call all the way to the border of Keene NH.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

This morning I initiated the family call. Sadly whatever cell tower was working last week was not working this week because I lost the call about one mile past the border of Winchendon.

Photo by Serkan Gu00f6ktay on Pexels.com

Well, that wasn’t the whole of it. When I got back to town and finally regained reception, I somehow butt dialed a whole Bible study group from the church on a call that lasted five minutes before I noticed it.

Technology is great until it isn’t.

THE IRONIC SIDE OF GOD

April 4, 2023 / joseph elon lillie / 3 Comments

God loves irony.

I never thought I would be a lead pastor. I was very content as an assistant. I always felt called to the pastoral lifestyle…the prayer ministry…the study….the preparation of sermons…the visitation and actual pastoring of the flock…navigating the supernatural move of The Holy Spirit… spiritual warfare. All of that felt like a natural fit for me. As an assistant those were the focuses of my work.

As a lead pastor I knew I would also have to assume leadership in the business end of the church’s work….The managing of staff… the balancing of budgets…the care of the building and property of the church. These felt like less of a fit. In spite of that I knew that when our last lead pastor left, I was being called to let my name stand for the position.

I let it stand.

I became the lead pastor.

It came with increased spiritual work.

It also came with three building projects which had been waiting in the wings for some time. The time has nowcome to address these projects as I reach my second and third year….the time when, according to my mentor, ministry really begins for a lead pastor.

The projects, we at Cornerstone, have affectionately named:

THE PINK

A tip of the hat to our Pepto Bismol-colored and very worn sanctuary rug.

THE STINK

A longstanding and undiagnosed smell that comes seasonally to our church building.

AND THE SINK.

The term we use for our pothole ridden parking lot.

THE PINK, we dealt with last summer with the help of a congregant who is a contractor.

Well, the chairs are still pink but the carpet is no longer a tripping hazard.

THE STINK, has a diagnosis in a rotted and pitted pipe in the floor beneath one of our bathrooms and soon will be dealt with.

THE SINK is a bigger need which we are beginning to deal with as we gather the quotes and prepare to contract with a paving company.

God is funny. He has chosen me to lead the church through this work. I have no inherent ability in running a business and certainly no ability in the building trades (in fact my inability is legendary among my parishoners). Nevertheless, here I stand!

Here is what I am learning about this end of pastoring:

Prayer is as helpful in directing the more earthy matters of the church as it is in directing the spiritual matters of the church.
I do not make any of these decision alone. God has made us a church and He has raised up a very talented leadership team in this church. He has placed voices schooled with the wisdom we need for each of these works.
Absolute agreement is not needed to move forward in the work of God. What is needed is unity and those two things are very different.
Mistakes can and will happen along the way. They are as important as the successes and have much to teach us as a church body.

God loves irony. He also loves putting His people in positions where they learn that what seems like irony is really just spiritual growth potential.

Flocks

April 3, 2023 / joseph elon lillie / 1 Comment

Here we are! The beginning of Holy Week. It feels like we have officially moved into Spring. Even the world seems to know it.

I had a board meeting with my deacons yesterday and one of our talking points was about the work of preparation God has been speaking to all of us about especially in light of what some of our sister churches are facing this Spring throughout the United States

Here Spring is coming in gently. I cannot imagine what it is like to pastor this Spring in Rolling RockMS Or Little Rock Arkansas or Nashville TN. My prayers are with those congregations as they face their incredible challenges. I am also praying that God helps us in, this gentler season for us, to prepare for whatever difficulty may lie ahead.

Our own thirteen hours blackout a few weeks ago during the ice storm showed me the need for us to obtain a secondary heat source for The Vicarage.

And the need for emergency packs has also begun to speak to my heart.

All those things aside, I am turning my eyes away from those things today to Sabbath myself (another very important aspect of personal preparation for what lies ahead). So today I am watching the Spring birds. Flocks have come to my feeders.

Grackles

Redwing Blackbirds

Cowbirds.

These Spring birds have returned enmasse.

I have two flocks that visit daily on opposite sides of the property. The morning flock is between twenty and thirty birds and the afternoon flock is between forty and sixty birds. My soul is refreshed as I watch these troops converge on the house as I read the Scriptures and write down thoughts that have been waiting days to meet the page.

HOW ARE YOU PREPARING FOR THE SPRING AND SUMMER SEASON?

Decision Fatigue

March 29, 2023March 29, 2023 / joseph elon lillie / 3 Comments

My daughter says I need a real Sabbath. I do take one… sort of. I come home on Sundays after service and I try not to do anything other than my Monday devotional until Monday night men’s group.

Photo by Anastasiya Lobanovskaya on Pexels.com

Some weeks I do better than others. After last week, when I didn’t get the sermon done until Friday night, I got nervous. Since I already knew what I was preaching for this next Sunday I wrote the sermon on Monday which meant of course…no day off.

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich on Pexels.com

Yesterday I had staff meeting, came home to do bills and to work through my own health insurance options while also working on Grace’s next steps into the world of Medicaid. Then I got a call to attend the bedside of a man preparing for his eternal journey. So I decided to cancel my regularly scheduled evening meetings with other parishioners.

This morning I woke up to two e-mails pushing towards decisions for the health insurance and some changes around the Vicarage. Neither of them were pushy or terribly serious they just started the day on an emphasis of decision making before I had even had my first cup of coffee.

I have been learning in my NOOM app about decision fatigue. I know this is one of my issues. Too many decisions….Noom says one of the ways to deal with decision fatigue is to automate some of your decisions. Move them from the plate of conscious decision to automatic action. Things like: What to have for breakfast, lunch and dinner, The order of activities in the day, what clothes to wear.

I also think my daughter is right. I have to be much more intentional about building in a decision free day…a real sabbath. And I think I need to build some actual decision making/ planning time into my schedule. It is there I am just not using the planning time to its proper advantage.

HERE’S A QUESTION. WHAT ARE SOME TRICKS YOU USE TO INTENTIONALLY PLAN YOUR LIFE?

TO RELEASE THE OWL

March 27, 2023March 27, 2023 / joseph elon lillie / 4 Comments

About two months ago Amanda rescued an owl from an unkindness of ravens that was trying to kill it (an unkindness is a group of ravens that gather around here. They often group to attack birds of prey).

Animal control came and collected the poor creature which was in shock and had a broken wing.

Yesterday just before church Amanda got the call that the bird was healed and ready to be released back into the wild. We were asked if we wanted to observe the release so at 4:30 in the afternoon we were at the church to watch the event.

The little fellow looked a little nervous, but with a bit of encouragement he was able to leave the box and go back to his home.

WEAK DAY ON THE WEEKEND

March 26, 2023 / joseph elon lillie / 1 Comment

Recently, Mom has been experiencing a new level of muscle weakness particularly in her legs. Some days she is good and then others she can barely walk. When these “spells” come on her she also gets very tired and achy throughout her body.

Her most recent bout with whatever this is came yesterday. She didn’t have the strength to make it to the bathroom on her own. Fortunately we have a kamode she can use in her room. Even with that I had to help her to stand up.

It seems to pass after a time and today she is moving much better and is feeling stronger. Her shoulders and back ache, though, and she has taken Motrin and muscle rub. She did have bloodwork on Friday so I am hoping that givers us some answers.

WHO NEEDS THE RADIO?

March 23, 2023 / joseph elon lillie / 2 Comments

I love to listen to music of all kinds. My car is equipped with a radio, a CD player, Bluetooth for Apple Car play, and Sirius XM capability. I use none of it.

I listen to the radio maybe .5% of the time I am driving. Even on long drives, like any drive up to Claremont I seldom listen to music on the radio.

Driving is my thinking time.

Driving is additional talking to God time.

The Good Lord is doing so much just now. My life is so full of His moving in new and wonderful ways I find myself needing every spare minute to put into context what He is doing.

I keep hearing Him say, “You must see what I am doing.”

Seeing what He is doing takes time and lots of deep consideration. Who needs a radio? The music of the spheres is constantly playing in my head.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT WHEN YOU ARTE DRIVING?

EMBRACING THE HOLY RHYTHM

March 22, 2023March 22, 2023 / joseph elon lillie / 1 Comment

I just finished reading through my comments from my most recent blogs (it is a habit I used to have that I am trying to reestablish). Sister Brenda commented, “if I don’t keep my sabbath holy who will?“

I will take it one step further, “If I don’t keep my daily rhythm holy, who will?”

Sabbath is a part of a holistic life rhythm that leads to a Spirit-led life.

Some time ago God told me that “I needed to start allowing life to flow out of the prayer place rather than letting prayer be informed out of the living place.”

A rhythm of prayer flowing into living and then living flowing back into prayer, prayer being the source of the living rather than allowing living to be the source of prayer is necessary.

I am…have been learning to make my life a response to prayer rather than allowing my prayers to become a reaction to living.

This lenten season I am intentionally calling myself to seven times of prayer a day.

My “midnight prayers” are times of dreams and visions that are beginning to carry more and more weight in my daily living.

My “prayer of arising” is a time of meditating on the life of Jesus among the people.

My “midmorning prayer” is a time of hearing the heart of the Psalmist.

My “noon time prayer” is a time of hearing the heart of the Psalmist.

My “late afternoon prayer” isa time of joining my voice to the voice of the Worship Room either in person or most often remotely.

My “vespers” is another time of joining my voice to the Worship Room or to the Cornerstone Church prayer room.

“Compline” is that time just before bed to meditate through the Psalms as I prepare for the dream space of the midnight once again.

My position allows me to extend prayer deeper than most people can, but I know that in the days ahead we will all be expanding the prayer space.

WHAT DO YOU THINK GOD WANTS YOUR PRAYER SPACE TO LOOK LIKE?

Notes From the Vicarage

A minister's family living in a micro forest garden

ministry life