Flerkin and the Kidnap of the She

The She is gone! He Who Wears Stupid Hats says she is on something called vacation, but I just know that the loathsome Kree have kidnapped her and are holding her as retribution against keep me for interfering in their interstellar political games.

After my last attack on their fleet I feared they may take offensive action against me and mine. Now The She is gone! She has just vanished!

I know! She looks terrified. When I came across this photo I knew it was proof of life and a warning of what will happen if I interfere in their workings ever again.

Matriarch Of the Ages keeps asking He Who Wears Stupid Hats when The She is returning. He always says “ten days”, but alas I know the truth. Meanwhile I can only sit in my tower and wait for an opportunity…. Just wait loathsome Kree! I will find a way to rescue The She and when I do you will all know the wrath of Flerkin!!!!

Flirken and the Night the Lights Went Out At the Vicarage

Cue stirring music:

I, the mighty Flirken, have been off world for the last several weeks fighting the loathsome Kree.

It was the night of May 6th, 2019 of the Gregorian calendar ( I knew Gregory . Actually it was I who suggested that the Julian calendar was wrong because it miscalculated the length of the solar year, but that is another story).

At any rate, I sensed that there was trouble back on Earth. So after I had dispatched the Kree war ship that was threatening those poor refugees from Stellus VII, I folded myself into my pocket dimension and quick like a kitty made my way back to Earth

It was a good thing I did too because as I returned to my room I realized all the power was out in the house. As I extended mt Flirken senses into the realm of Winchendon I noted that the power was out all over.

The Three White Wickednesses were making a terrible ruckus…. TheGuardians of EIEIO are such sissies.

Matriarch of the Ages was in a terrible tizzy because humans cannot see much without light. I of course have my cat senses and so am perfectly comfortable with the dark, but Matriarch of the ages was rushing about the house pulling the fire sticks out of drawers and shoving them into coffee cups because she could not find her holders.

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I thought surely she would burn down the house and so I was just about to swallow her into my pocket dimension when The She…

started going behind her and putting the candles into candle holders.

Then He Who Wears Stupid Hats…

Came Home and found some more holders and the world was saved. Once again I did not have to eat one human! My humans are true warriors!

Snug and “The Dentist”.

My Momma broke one of her steak chompers last night while she was out at this thing the humans call “Dinner & a Movie with Babs.”

I don’t know what “Dinner & a Movies is” I especially don’t know what “&” is, but “Babs” is a lady who lives in the little black box Momma hits with her fingers and talks to everyday. Well, at least she’s the face of a lady in the black box. Actually, the box has lots of faces and one of those faces that sometimes talks back is this lady “Babs”.

So after “Dinner & a Movie With Babs” Momma had to go to something she called “The Dentist”. All day this is what she looked like whenever anybody said those words “The Dentist”.

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I don’t like it when Momma looks like that. It makes me worried. When I am worried I can get a little barky, but today I tried to be really good, and I was really good until I got nervous and pooped on the floor in “First Smell’s” room. “First Smell” is the one Flirken calls “He Who Wears Stupid Hats.”

It’s true he does wear a lot of stupid hats, but I call him “First Smell” because he was the first thing I smelled when I came out of my dog Momma’s belly.

Every dog has a “First Smell”. My dog Momma’s and dog Papa’s First Smell is the one Flirken calls “The She”.

Now that you mention it, I haven’t seen Flirken around in a while. Maybe he is off world fighting the loathsome Kree. Or maybe he went to help Momma with “The Dentist”. Maybe “The Dentist” is like the Kree because it seems that when his name is spoken everyone gets a look on their faces.

I hope Flirken did go to help Momma because when she got back from ‘The Dentist” she looked like she’d been in a pretty big fight. Now she is laying on the couch with one of those blue cold things on her face like the one she put on her knee when the sheep knocked her over.

“First Smell” fed me and took me out for a walk. Now I am going to try to sit quietly in his room with dog Momma and dog Papa. I hope Momma feels better. Maybe tonight I’ll let her sleep with my green dragon or even my special spit covered snow ball. I think she’ll like that.

Whilst They Were Arting

Amanda says: while my father and Aunt we’re busy arting at Cornerstone, I was off with a small team at a children’s conference. Here are some of the notes from today’s sessions.

BGMC is the children’s fundraising Focus in the Assemblies of God. This year Cornerstone was acknowledged as having raised over $1,000 for the bgmc program.

it was a great day.

My sister Melanie and my niece Daniela met us there. Here’s what Daniela learn to do at the conference…

… as Ephesians chapter 6 says , “Having done everything to stand , stand then…”

The Season When Flirken Go To War

It is spring, the season when Flirken go to war. Go to war I must! against the ancient enemy of my people, the loathsome Kree!

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Oh I know they look like mummers but the loathsome Kree have stolen the shapeshifting tech of our long time allies, the Skrull and have adapted it. But it is worse than that even! The loathsome Kree have dared to invade the sacred domicile of MY BELOVED SHE!

All of the courtiers of THE SHE are in danger!

HE WHO WEARS STUPID HATS is in danger.

MATRIARCH OF THE AGES is in danger

LADY FROM FOREIGN LANDS is in danger!

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Even THE THREE WHITE WICKEDNESSES are in danger.

I must rescue them!

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The loathsome Kree have shapeshifted to appear as mice, but my Flirken senses know the truth!

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I shall sequester myself here until the loathsome Kree form their battle lines, Soon loathsome Kree very soon you shall know my wrath!