On Thursday last week, Mom’s health took a stark turn. She woke with intense pain. She went through two bouts of shaking and then descended into unconsciousness. We were told she had days left to live.
Brenda and I together with all the kids prepared ourselves for our vigil with Mom over the Easter weekend. As the world faced Good Friday and looked forward to the Resurrection, we were facing our own very personal deathwatch. The themes of death and resurrection were very real to us as we prayed Mom through to eternity.
I don’t know how it feels for anyone else to wait with someone who is walking in that space between life and death. I imagine it must feel different for everyone. For me the waiting was a tightening of my chest and a pressure behind my eyes. It felt like I was holding my breath underwater and my ears were filled with sound of the ocean for days.
On Friday we received more bad news that our one remaining Uncle had a heart attack and was being life-flighted to UMASS Medical Center in Worcester Massachusetts. It was almost more than our hearts could bear as a family.
I have to say I am so grateful for a church family these days. So many congregants reached out to us during this time with prayers and with food (our refrigerator had no more room). Our deacons rose to the occasion for Uncle Tom, knowing that I could not leave my mother’s side for a five hour hospital trip. They visited Uncle Tom and his family at the hospital and prayed with them. On Easter Sunday as Brenda and I waited at mom’s bedside, my daughter Amanda opened the church service and my daughter Melanie led worship for Easter Sunday. One of our Deacons, Jody Clapp and our Church DLT Coordinator, Carrie Hackett preached the Easter Sunday sermon. Amanda officiated the Easter baptism.
We thought Sunday would be Mom’s day to leave us for Heaven, but she was not ready. At about 5 A.M. on Tuesday morning Mom finally entered Jesus’ arms.
We got news that Uncle Tom was doing well and was expected to make a full recovery.
On Tuesday night I began to get sick. My body I guess had had enough of waiting and pressure and up and down. On Wednesday, my son’s birthday, Brenda commented that I looked very unwell. Truth be told I felt like I was hanging on by a thread. Thursday I was flat on my back for the entire day. What started as a cold turned into a stomach bug.
On Friday we got news that Brenda’s dog, Oliver, in The Netherlands, had eaten some poison and was at a veterinary specialist trying to save his life. Oliver went into renal failure this morning and needed to be put to sleep.
It has been a week of bad news, more bad news, Good news, more good news, bad news, good news and more bad news. To say that we don’t know how to feel, to say that we are stunned, numb, hopeful and discouraged is perhaps the most accurate description of our emotional state at the moment.
I stand at this moment on the shoulders of the Apostle Paul and declare, “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.” 2 Corinthians 4:7-11
Notes From the Vicarage 