Easter

UP…DOWN…STUNNED… NUMB…HOPEFUL….DISCOURAGED FROM ONE MINUTE TO THE NEXT

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On Thursday last week, Mom’s health took a stark turn. She woke with intense pain. She went through two bouts of shaking and then descended into unconsciousness. We were told she had days left to live.

Brenda and I together with all the kids prepared ourselves for our vigil with Mom over the Easter weekend. As the world faced Good Friday and looked forward to the Resurrection, we were facing our own very personal deathwatch. The themes of death and resurrection were very real to us as we prayed Mom through to eternity.

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I don’t know how it feels for anyone else to wait with someone who is walking in that space between life and death. I imagine it must feel different for everyone. For me the waiting was a tightening of my chest and a pressure behind my eyes. It felt like I was holding my breath underwater and my ears were filled with sound of the ocean for days.

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On Friday we received more bad news that our one remaining Uncle had a heart attack and was being life-flighted to UMASS Medical Center in Worcester Massachusetts. It was almost more than our hearts could bear as a family.

I have to say I am so grateful for a church family these days. So many congregants reached out to us during this time with prayers and with food (our refrigerator had no more room). Our deacons rose to the occasion for Uncle Tom, knowing that I could not leave my mother’s side for a five hour hospital trip. They visited Uncle Tom and his family at the hospital and prayed with them. On Easter Sunday as Brenda and I waited at mom’s bedside, my daughter Amanda opened the church service and my daughter Melanie led worship for Easter Sunday. One of our Deacons, Jody Clapp and our Church DLT Coordinator, Carrie Hackett preached the Easter Sunday sermon. Amanda officiated the Easter baptism.

We thought Sunday would be Mom’s day to leave us for Heaven, but she was not ready. At about 5 A.M. on Tuesday morning Mom finally entered Jesus’ arms.

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We got news that Uncle Tom was doing well and was expected to make a full recovery.

On Tuesday night I began to get sick. My body I guess had had enough of waiting and pressure and up and down. On Wednesday, my son’s birthday, Brenda commented that I looked very unwell. Truth be told I felt like I was hanging on by a thread. Thursday I was flat on my back for the entire day. What started as a cold turned into a stomach bug.

On Friday we got news that Brenda’s dog, Oliver, in The Netherlands, had eaten some poison and was at a veterinary specialist trying to save his life. Oliver went into renal failure this morning and needed to be put to sleep.

It has been a week of bad news, more bad news, Good news, more good news, bad news, good news and more bad news. To say that we don’t know how to feel, to say that we are stunned, numb, hopeful and discouraged is perhaps the most accurate description of our emotional state at the moment.

I stand at this moment on the shoulders of the Apostle Paul and declare, “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.” 2 Corinthians 4:7-11

HOPE IN RESURRECTION

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We continue to stand with Mom in the In Between place as she waits to walk into the embrace of Jesus.

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It has been a bit surreal walking through this year’s Holy Week with the spectre of death just around the corner every moment. At the same time the hope of resurrection has also been with us throughout the week.

We have been listening to Christian music exclusively since Thursday morning. No television shows. No news. Just worship. We are filling the house with the praises of our God to help Mom’s passing be one of “peace that passes all understanding”. Just today Brenda and I were listening to People and Songs and this song just really spoke. https://youtu.be/ed_pL2MDqNU?t=22

Today Amanda, James and Kristine took Lela, Cloddles and Sevy to see the Easter Bunny at our town’s Easter Egg Hunt.

You can’t tell these two are sisters can you?
My daughter Melanie dressed up as our town’s Easter Bunny…the kids had absolutely no idea.
Quite a haul.

Tomorrow Deacon Jody Clapp and DLT Director Carrie Hackett will be sharing the sermon for Easter in my absence. Melanie will be leading the worship and Pastor Amanda will be performing the baptism. Our life keeps moving forward, even in the face of death, because even death must bow before the hope of resurrection.

This is the hope our family is functioning in. As hard as this process is, we know this is not the end. It is just a transition.

These flowers came for Brenda today from her lifelong friend Barbie, to remind us that the world is full of color and that hope remains!

IN BETWEEN

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It is quiet now. Joe has gone off to work at school and the rest of the house is still asleep. I can hear the quiet rattle of mom’s breath in the other room as she walks the In Between place between life and death.

We are in the last days, now, of this hospice process, at least as far as any of us can predict this kind of thing. Mom awoke yesterday with great pain in her arms. Her right arm had swollen again. Mom’s kidneys are shutting down and she is retaining fluid.

Her arms have swollen before, but yesterday was different. There was shaking and more confusion, much, much more. Then she went to sleep. Pain and shaking came back a few hours later and we began medicating to stay ahead of the pain.

The nurse came to put in a catheter because Mom’s body cannot void without help now. She has been resting quietly since. Her oxygen level is very low but her breathing is not labored. She seems peaceful and that is our prayer for her, that she may depart in peace.

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On this Good Friday, our family is standing vigil with Mom. We are in the In Between with her watching, as watchmen on the walls, for the time when Jesus will come to take her unto Himself.

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God[a]; believe also in me. 2 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. John 14: 1-3

An Icy Parade Of Palms

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We had an ice storm over night.

The day dawned bright, sunny and cold.

Nature decorated our Palm Sunday service with diamonds in the trees. Some of the towns in our area lost power due to power lines downed by ice laden trees.

I was a little worried it would be too cold for the Parade of Palms our local council of churches had planned.

But by noon the sun had warmed things up nicely.

About 70 people….family and friends gathered with palms in hand to march up our Central St. behind a donkey to commemorate Jesus’ Triumphal Entry.

We finished with prayers by the clergy for our town. I got to pray.

Rabbi Ken prayed in Hebrew.

Jon Bauver the director of The Worship Room House of Prayer prayed.

Father Henry from Immaculate Heart prayed.

Finally Pastor Calvin Miller the coordinator of our event closed us out.

How Did You Spend Your Palm Sunday.?

In the Midst

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Last week our grocery store started limiting the number of people who could go in at one time. One in one out, is the new rule.

This week we were asked to start shopping in two week stints to limit the amount of exposure each of us have to the public, as cases of the Covid-19 mount across the state. I could feel the fear as I was shopping yesterday. One man yelled at me when I pulled down my face mask for a moment to defog my glasses.

In the midst of our world falling apart around us by bits and pieces, I have been “attending” an on-line retreat regarding the sorrows of Passion Week. Today our leader in the retreat wrote this:

“Where is our hope? Our hope is in a God who died publicly humiliated outside the walls of a minor city in a great empire. This God is not a God for winners, not a God who makes us great again. We believe in a God who throws the rich from their thrones and lifts up the lowly. Our God dies daily, alongside the poor, the outcast, the immigrant child, the fearful and victimized, the one who dies alone. Our hope is in a God who chooses humility, a God who bows deeply, who suffers with us, even unto death. A God who dies daily alongside those in this plague, who knows the fear of those who serve others in this pandemic, who knows the avoidance of those who would rather go back to sleep.” Almut Furchert

I am struck by the phrase, “Our hope is in a God who chooses humility, a God who bows deeply,”

When, besides the cross, in all of the worlds religions did a god choose humility? IN the cross God bowed low!!!!

For me this time has been a very humbling experience. I got sick at the beginning of the shut- in and my voice has not yet returned (I am thanking God that this sickness was not as serious as it could have been). I have not led worship in something like seven weeks. This has been one of my lamentations during this season. It felt like a loss ( not so much the loss of worship but of my voice), but God has showed me that this is the moment I have prayed for. In my inability, younger men have stepped to the plate and worship has gone on, and there is actually a liberation in that!

The whole church is being humbled as we approach this Easter weekend. We are being forced to do away with the pomp and circumstance which generally go with this season. We are being forced to return to the simplicity of the cross: no frills, no stirring music or acting, no lights or crowds, just a naked Savior hanging, dying on a cross. Perhaps in the midst of our world falling apart this will be one of the most powerful Easters the church has experienced in many years simply because we cannot make it about us or our attempts at personal kingdom building. It must be completely about Jesus.

God is changing me through this experience. He is moving me ,in the midst of it, into the new place He has been promising to being me. He is accomplishing His prophesied move in our church at Cornerstone and He is fulfilling His prophesied word in the church world- wide. The church is being humbled. As the crucifixion of Christ was God’s plan to bring about Christ’s Resurrection then, this crucifixion we are experiencing has a resurrection attached to it as well. Hold onto that.