THE SLOW RETURN OF THINGS I HAVE MISSED

When I became the lead pastor of Cornerstone Winchendon back in April of 2021 my life changed in many ways. The work became very different. The way I work became very different. The way I lived became different.

I said hello to a lot of things:

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Being the church’s representative in community and larger church events, Top level leadership, the ability to have a leading say in the development of church philosophy and direction, preaching every week, an increase in my prayer life, a lot more reading, a solid sabbath

I also said goodbye to many things:

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Singing daily, playing piano daily, writing daily, pleasure reading, movies, unplanned time

It was a bigger transition than I anticipated. It took more energy than I ever considered. Please don’t get me wrong, I love…love…love this life I have. It is God’s pathway for me and the greatest adventure I have ever known.

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The adventure didn’t stop me from being a little sad at the loss of daily writing and the community it had generated. It didn’t stop me from grieving when I realized I had lost my accuracy and fluidity on the keys. And yes I was sad when I lost two notes off the top of my vocal range from not vocalizing daily.

But God has been faithful and as I have worked through this transition I have been able in small ways, slow ways to go back to some of those things that I gave up when I first became the lead pastor.

I have been able to go back to worship leading once a week with The Worship Room House of Prayer right here in town. I could barely move after the first week of leading, but now five weeks in I feel pretty good after just an hour or so of rest after leading. I still can’t sing above and E with any accuracy, but you never know, I might get my groove back someday.

The writing is even coming back bit by bit. I think I have missed that most of all. I have not been able to return to daily writing yet, but little by slow I am building back the community by writing and reading at least four times a week. That is an improvement indeed.

Currently At the Vicarage

We currently have a couple of big projects going on at The Vicarage. A few weeks ago Mom’s Home Health Worker for Sundays had to give her notice for health reasons. The kids and I have been covering Sunday mornings since. We are currently working through a provider to try and find another worker for Sundays. Big project number one!

The second big project is a little bigger as far as the requirement of sweat equity. Mom is entering a part of her dementia where too much noise makes her really anxious. So we need a place besides the front room right outside her room where Sevy and the girls can play without causing Mom too much anxiety. This is especially true now that the winter is setting in. I have made the decision that the dogs and I will move temporarily to the front office upstairs. My room will become Sevy’s playroom.

WHAT IS THE MOST BUSY?

My personal schedule shifted recently and I took on more meeting ministry opportunities. Up until last April,Tuesday through Friday was probably my most busy part of the week. I did a lot of personal meetings, a staff meeting and at least one prayer service on those days.

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But in the Spring God changed things up. The church needed another set of hands in our boys Doing Life Together Group. Then in August it became apparent that I was going to be taking over a new adult Doing Life Together group along with a return to worship ministry.

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Now Sunday to Tuesday is my gauntlet time. Sunday morning generally starts around 4:30 A.M. This week I did morning service and an afternoon funeral (last week it was an afternoon Chili cook off). Mondays are Bible study, devotional video and worship set. Tuesdays are devotional video, staff meeting and Boys Doing Life Together group. By Wednesday I am ready to drop.

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I have made Wednesdays an actual Sabbath where I am being very strict about not leaving the house.

WHAT IS THE MOST BUSY PART OF YOUR WEEK?

TO WRITE AGAIN

One of the things I regularly do is go through my life and evaluate how my life is going. Is it the life God desires for me? Is it the life I want to live? Am I living to my potential? What am I doing that I shouldn’t be doing? What am I not doing that I should be doing?

One of the things I discovered in my latest evaluation, is that I want to get back to writing again. And I want to get back to artistic expression.

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We started Royal Rangers (our churches boy’s group) again last week. The first merit we are working on is the art merit. Maybe that is what is driving me back to the desire to create. I want to get back to story. I want to get back to drawing. I want to back to making something that draws on imagination.

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Then again, maybe it is something in my current work of pastoring that is driving me to this. I was in a conversation last Friday with someone as I attended a local worship conference. As we spoke I realized just how complex the work of pastoring has been lately. I have many questions about what comes next in the work.

I spent the weekend in deep prayer. As I was praying in the midnight hour on Saturday evening some words and a picture came to mind.

I am not sure what these things mean exactly, but I know they are my brain trying to process some very intricate data. So maybe that is what is driving me back to writing again. I just know that whatever it is, my desire to write again is overwhelming. I need to do it.

What drives you to your writing or your art?

TO THE WEDNESDAY SABBATH

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Ministry has shifted again. I think this shift is at least for the winter. About a month and a half ago I moved my day off from Monday to Wednesday. Mondays became a morning Doing Life Together Group (our church’s small group Bible studies) and a worship devotional session at TWR House Of Prayer.

The schedule is now:Sunday church, Monday teaching and service work, Tuesday staff meeting pastoral meetings and Royal Rangers and somewhere in this I have to make sure my sermon is put together and sent off to the admin staff for power pointing.

The last several weeks I have been working on Wednesdays as I transitioned out of other ministry responsibilities. Last night was my first Ranger meeting and today is my first Wednesday Sabbath for real.

I got up this morning after the last three days of ministry and realized just how much I needed a sabbath.

I have known for many years how important sabbath is for the work of ministry. That said, it has been something I have pushed off many times for the necessity of the work. This new schedule is not going to permit that. I toyed with the idea for a while of keeping a couple of work items in the mix for Wednesdays. The way I feel today shows me just how much I will need this.

WHEN IS YOUR SABBATH?

87

Today, my mother turns 87 years young.

We will celebrate, simply: A few bouquets, some slippers for winter, a new sweater, cake and ice cream.

Mom has lived an exciting adventure. 87 years is a lot of water under the bridge and a host of life events.

A third generation, Winchendonian, mom’s life has never wandered far afield. She lives in a house, only a mile and a half from where she grew up. The Vicarage is the house she and my father bought when I was in third grade. Still, 87 years in one place can give a person a wealth of experience and wisdom.

My mother grew up on a small farm. She remembers having an outhouse before her father installed indoor plumbing. She learned how to milk a cow and how to gather eggs from chickens. She remembers canning fruits and vegetables for the winter and recalls hand ringing clothes before they were hung to dry outside.

Mom’s father, my grandfather, was a carpenter and a machinist at several local factories. He built the house they lived in with the help of his father and brothers.

Mom’s mother, my grandmother, was the daughter of Finnish, and Swedish immigrants. She ran a tight ship at home, but then she had to. She had eight children and a farm to run.

Mom was daughter number three and child number six. The Family didn’t have much money. Mom put herself through nursing school in Boston.

Her life has spanned: The great depression, World War II, the Korean conflict, Vietnam, 9/11 and Desert storm. Her life has been touched by every president from Roosevelt on.

She raised two children, both of them pastors. She worked as a nurse in four different health care systems. She was married to a small businessman, my father, for 24 years and lived as a widow for thirty years.

Mom traveled the Unites States. She has seen Puerto Rico and Germany. She has visited Old Faithful and the Grand Canyon, DisneyLand and Disney World.

She has served in roles in GirlScouts and Soccer. She was President of Women’s Club and played Golf and Tennis on leagues at different times in her life.

Her world is smaller now. She doesn’t leave home and many of her memories have been stolen by this horrible disease, dementia. It’s a new part of her journey and there is more ahead because life doesn’t end with this life. We celebrate 87 years today, but we also celebrate the years ahead into eternity.

The Season Of Tuesday Nights

In July, my son and his family moved back from South Korea. In the middle of August, my sister, Brenda returned to the vicarage for a six week break away.

But Long before they returned, my daughter, Melanie, and her girls Had begun visiting my mother on Tuesday nights while her husband, James and I led a boy’s group at our church, And while Amanda led the teen ministry of our church.

Melanie and I actually had the discussionAbout whether or not her Tuesday night visits should continue with all the extra people in the house. I said yes. I thought we should not stop a healthy, family ritual, rather, we should build on it.

So this summer, Melanie and James have continued to come over with the girls on Tuesday nights. Sometimes, they’ve been the only ones here with mom. Sometimes, they have held game nights with their siblings. sometimes, Melanie has had a meeting, so James has brought the girls. And sometimes like last night, everyone except Amanda was here.

The three grandchildren were running around, making all kinds of noise. We adults spread throughout the house, having group and private conversations. Melanie gave mom a manicure. It was chaos. It was wonderful.

I realize that in a few weeks, James and I will be back teaching the boys group. Brenda will be back in the Netherlands. Amanda will be teaching the teens. But for this brief time we have a season of Tuesday nights. I will cherish them while I have them. And I will cherish them in my memory when they have passed.

The Calm Before the Crazy

I am in the Cumberland Mountain Range this week. Our scenic cabin is in a place called Eden Ridge.

There isn’t much to do here, except rest, and pray, contemplate and study. At some point, we will have to make our way back down the mountain for a little more grocery shopping and probably stop at the country club attached to this retreat center for a swim in the pool.

Today I have spent several hours in prayer and study. I put together the outlines for all the Royal Ranger devotions and church sermons through the new year.

Tomorrow I will put together the outlines through June.

One of the hours I spent in prayer was at The World Missions Park by the visitors center.

During that hour of prayer, I had a really strong sense that our congregation is about to face some challenges in the near future. Specifically, I feel as though God is going to challenge us to new levels of spiritual health. This will involve us letting go of some unhealthy cycles we have allowed our personal lives and relationships to fall into.

I have the sense that ministry is going to get increasingly complex when I get back.

I am grateful to God for this period of calm before what I think will be a period of crazy.

The Multiplicity Of Minds

Paul the Apostle warned his followers….

“Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.[d] Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.

In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. “

As the Vicarage has filled up one of the things that has become clear is how differently the various Lillies all think and practice this thing called life. The differences show up in big and little ways. For instance my son and his wife have taken over washing the dishes. I never considered that the three pockets on the edge of our strainer are for presorting the silverware into spoons, forks and knives. When I do the dishes the silver just falls into whatever pocket I happen to chuck it. Joe and Kristine just seemed to understand that the pockets were there to help with the organization.

MIND BLOWN…

My sister and I are headed out for vacation on Saturday to a Missionary retreat called Eden Ridge.

The kids are taking care of things when I go. My daughter Amanda has the incredible thought processes of a lead administrator. She called the whole Lillie/Franklin team together for a planning session last Monday night so that schedules and duties are all marked out before my departure.

It is so powerful to see this multiplicity of minds working in my family. It is also beginning in the church….AS WE DISCOVER OUR GIFTS WE WILL CHANGE THE WORLD.


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Outreach

Our church at Cornerstone is organized into what we call DLT groups. Each group has five purposes.

  1. To study the Bible together
  2. To pray together
  3. To break bread together
  4. To build Authentic Transparent Vulnerable relationship together
  5. To use these methods to outreach our community

I have just started a new DLT group. It is composed mostly of octogenarians in the church. We call ourselves “The Saints of Fire and Valor.” Our outreach is to the Senior Center in our town. We are joining in with another group, “The Warriors of Fire”.

Here are some photos from our first outreach as a group.

I WISH I COULD READ THE MINDS BEHIND THESE EXPRESSIONS.