This week’s big project at the vicarage was to buy a new washing machine. After the renovation we got rid of the old washing machine, which was total junk. We have been waiting for a new spigot for the washing machine hook up to be put in. It’s such a small job that it was hard to get a plumber to actually come out and do the work. Here in the boondocks getting a tradesman to come out for a simple repair is nigh unto impossible.But our contractor finally found someone who had a free day, that in itself is a minor miracle in these parts.
Anyway, the spigot was installed two weeks ago and this week I ordered the new washing machine. It is now running through its first cycle, and then I will be able to do our first load of laundry in the house since last April.
The Shepherd’s Pie is put together and in the oven; So I have a few minutes before the oven timer goes off to write this blog. It’s not multi-tasking really. At least I don’t seem to be able to think about it like that. I can’t concentrate on more than one thing at a time. The casserole is in the oven on a timer and I don’t have to think about it again until the bell goes off. Timers on things is the only way I seem to be able to manage more than one thing at a time and…..am I really?
I was at the laundromat waiting for my laundry to finish drying yesterday. I got lost in the book I was reading and missed the dryer timer. When I looked up the dryer had stopped and when I opened the door the laundry had already started to cool. The series I am in is a good series, but I think more than anything the reason I missed the buzzer on the dryer was because I got so focused on the story I couldn’t maintain even memory that I was doing anything else.
Honestly, it happens all the time if I am not careful. I get lost in a thing I really like and all the other stuff which is not as fun just gets washed away from my thought life.
Sometimes it feels like I am being buried alive in all the projects, and then other times I don’t see it as I have to do all these things, but I get to do all these things.
One thing I have learned is that I have to allow myself to flow into everything I do, from the place of prayer. The more I pray, the more I seem to be able to do. The less I pray the less I seem to be able to do. Prayer has become the space between all the things I do, between: The supper’s I make, the people I visit and pray for, the sermons and devotions I write, the laundry I do, the dogs I walk, the calls I make, the plans I lay.
As long as I go to these places from the place of prayer and return to the place of prayer after I do them, I seem to be able to maintain the rhythm.
Don’t get me wrong, destinations are great. Disney, Europe, Heaven….all destinations…all progressively awesome. But at some point I began to dwell more on the journey to the awesome destinations than on the destinations themselves.
Someday I will get to Heaven. I know it will be awesome, but the journey towards Heaven is pretty awesome too! In it I am learning so much, experiencing such incredible adventures and changing in some pretty amazing ways. I am learning that the kingdom of Heaven is not only out there somewhere, but within me.
Truly speaking, I am not so sure that once I reach Heaven my journeying will be done. I am not sure the discovering will be finished. I am not sure the desination is as destinationish as we think it is. What if Heaven is as CS Lewis says just an opportunity to “go further in and deeper back”. What if eternity is just a much longer more incredible journey?
My daughter was babysitting the daughters of one of our deacons last week. She brought them over to the Vicarage. After the girls helped us put groceries away one of them wandered up the stairs to the birdwatching landing.
From this perch I can watch over the birdfeeding station on the North side of the Vicarage property. It was full of birds on that particular day.
Another thing I noticed was that the property was surrounded by crows stationed at various points in the tops of the trees.
“Crows are the watchmen of the bird world. “I explained.
“Their presence around the property means that there is a bird of prey somewhere in the area. If that hawk or owl or falcon comes near the crows will sound a warning that will send the other birds into the bushes to hide from the danger and then the crows will gang up on the bird of prey and chase it away.”
I have known unkindnesses to bring down owls. We actually had an owl at the church a while back whose wing was broken by such a gathering. My daughter had to chase the crows away from the owl and call animal rescue to come and get the poor thing.
The event reminded me a bit of a passage from Isaiah 62
I have posted watchmen on your walls, Jerusalem; they will never be silent day or night. You who call on the Lord, give yourselves no rest, 7 and give him no rest till he establishes Jerusalem and makes her the praise of the earth.
8 The Lord has sworn by his right hand and by his mighty arm: “Never again will I give your grain as food for your enemies, and never again will foreigners drink the new wine for which you have toiled; 9 but those who harvest it will eat it and praise the Lord, and those who gather the grapes will drink it in the courts of my sanctuary.”
10 Pass through, pass through the gates! Prepare the way for the people. Build up, build up the highway! Remove the stones. Raise a banner for the nations.
11 The Lord has made proclamation to the ends of the earth: “Say to Daughter Zion, ‘See, your Savior comes! See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him.’” 12 They will be called the Holy People, the Redeemed of the Lord; and you will be called Sought After, the City No Longer Deserted.
We who know Jesus in this age are the crows in the trees. We are to be the watchmen revealing the way and guarding the way to the Father.
We are the ones called to this generation to love, pray and protect the hearts of this generation from the actual wiles and wings of the devil.
BUT UNLIKE A FLOCK OF CROWS OUR GATHERINGS ARE TO BE CALLED KINDNESSES NOT UNKINDNESSES!
HOW SHALL WE RESPOND, I WONDER, AS THE OWLS GATHER?
I received a note from the post office the other day that a package was waiting for me.
I was pretty sure I knew what it was but I had no opportunity to stop and get it. It has been a week spent on the phone with different agencies trying to get information for my friend Grace’s Medicaid application.
Yesterday I had a pretty full morning writing and cleaning and gathering forms.
At noon I went with a parishioner to do a hospital visit about an hour away, after which we went grocery shopping. My friend picked me up some dry gas for our cars as a gift while I bought food for the weekend.
Even as we were driving home from Leominster MA, the wind was picking up and the temperature was beginning to drop as the arctic wind storm predicted for Massachusetts began.
By the time I got back to the Vicarage, the wind was whistling through the downspouts of our gutters like the trumpets of the second coming.The temps last night fell to -45 or -50 Fahrenheit with the windchill factor, but we managed to seal ourselves in pretty well and turn the heat up to keep ourselves warm.
I heard from my daughter, Melanie, this morning. Her living room got down to 52 degrees last night and the outside security doors of her building both got blown open during the night, one of them blowing right off the apartment building. We lost a few branches here at The Vicarage, but nothing quite as serious as that.
We are staying inside today, reading, writing, practicing sermons for tomorrow, eating and just generally staying warm.
Oh yes! I did get to stop at the post office before the storm started in earnest. The package was, as I anticipated, my sister’s Christmas present returned by customs from The Netherlands. Apparently Kool Aid is now a safety issue, or maybe it was the instant coffee.
My calling (job) is an interesting combination of joys and sorrows.
The joy of: welcoming new born babes to the church in the arms of their mothers and fathers, baptizing new converts to the faith, welcoming those who have decided to join membership, celebrating the victory of healing with people who have overcome life challenging illness, the planning and execution of weekly celebration services, prayer services and small group Bible studies, mixes with the sorrow of walking with families struggling with domestic violence, or divorce, walking the long road to life’s end, comforting families of those who have passed on into eternity, and helping families struggle through the sorrow of wayward children.
The whole job is an honor and a challenge. The whole job requires the grace of God to manifest with each joy and each sorrow.
One of the joy/ sorrows I am walking through right now is with the oldest member of our congregation, Grace. Grace has been with us literally from the beginning of the church, from the very first service when there was no church building only a church living room. Grace is also a biblical widow. She has no family aside from an elderly sister living in assisted living over 12 hours away. Our church is her family.
Grace was also not prepared at all for end of life. So when she could no longer care for herself the state stepped in and placed her an hour and a half from us. I have now taken Grace on as my legal ward, but I have been unable to move her from the care center where she has been placed. At this point I am not sure I would want to put her through the trauma of moving again. So I call her several times a week. Yesterday I made the drive up to see her.
I start out on Rte. 12 from Winchendon MA up through Fitzwilliam, Troy and Keene NH. I pick up Rte 10 and follow the Ashuelot River through Gilsum and up into Marlowe. Driving past the Christmas Inn at Marlowe….
I travel by the wind mills in Lempster
I turn at the United Church across from the Lempster town library.
up into Unity,
until I see the skyline at Sullivan County Health Care. It’s a long way from my current home, but my family on both my mother and father’s side has been traipsing this same territory for more than two hundred years. Most of my original ancestors came through Newport NH on their journey from England. One of my relatives actually was born in Goshen only minutes from Lempster and preached in South Acworth only a few miles in the other direction from Lempster. Driving this road feels a little like walking through history to a deeper sense of home.
Since the last time I visited Grace she has had to move to a new unit within the care center so that she could receive the appropriate care for her weakening physical condition. The new unit, Stearns III, is a very beautiful ward with lots of plants and bright decorations. When I arrived Grace was just finishing up a music program and then an aid took us to the “Tower Room” where we could visit privately. Grace thought she had made this quilt. She went to some length to explain the neatness of the stitching and how it had been a group project. I didn’t let her think otherwise.
The view from the room was beautiful and cheery.
Grace is facing many challenges ahead with her health, but being able to walk this season with her as she prepares for her own journey into eternity is such a great privilege. I don’t know how much my visits are making a difference in Grace’s life. I truly hope they are a blessing to her. This one thing I know, they are deepening my faith and my own story greatly
HAVE YOU EVER WALKED WITH SOMEONE THROUGH GREAT DIFFICULTY? HOW DID IT CHANGE YOU?
Last night I attended the last corporate prayer meeting of our 21 Days of Fasting and Prayer, hosted at The Worship Room. I am so thankful for all the hard work the staff of The Worship Room did to bring our church together for this season. Some very deep things were shifted in my heart.
Last night I heard the Lord say, “Your new rhythm is set and begins.”
I can really feel this new rhythm today as I walk through the motions and meetings of the day. Something has indeed shifted. I am feeling slow, constant and intentional which is not new, but it feels like I’ve gone deeper in the slowing, in the constancy and in the seeking for intentionality.
This morning our church hosted a leadership training on the subject of coaching.
About thirty of us gathered to open the discussion around “coaching the person not the problem”. Our goal is to complete this course in 6 months (meeting once a month). We finished 6 pages of 147 and got our text books, but the conversation was so rich as we began to grapple with the idea of changing out methods of Christian work and what that looks like for us as we move onto the next step of our church mission which is : WHILE DONG LIFE TOGETHER, WE WILL REACH THE LOST BY SENDING THE FOUND. WE WILL DISCOVER OUR GIFTS AND CHANGE THE WORLD.
If today was any indication there is much to grapple with. And that grappling is a wonderful and painful process.
God has been talking to us for three years about ‘THE NEW WINE SKIN”. It’s a biblical reference to a spiritual change in a person’s life that causes them to approach life from a different perspective using different methods. It’s not that the thing believed changes, at all. It is the way the thing believed is approached, that changes.
As a long time Christian I realize one of the tendencies I struggle with is becoming dogmatic about my methods. I have realized I begin thinking, the way I do faith is as sacred as the faith itself. When that is allowed to go on for too long traditions become as, or more important than the relationship I have with my Living God.
One thing I know about God is He does not like it when things that are not Him take precedence over Him. He tends to shake those things up, and for those of us caught in the shaking it can be very disconcerting.
After training I went home to do the other work I had scheduled. One bit of that work was to call my friend Grace. She is going through a host of changes that are far more difficult than the changes I am walking through with my “NEW WINE SKIN”. Over the course of the last month she has lost the ability to walk, and to even get herself in and out of bed. She has had to change units in the nursing home as her medical condition is now more severe. She also recognizes that her level of confusion has increased.
Today as we spoke on the phone she said, “I am not really concerned about my legs. It’s the confusion that is hard to deal with. But I am trying hard not to fuss about it.”
Grace is trying to practice living one day at a time. It’s a good lesson for me as I face the challenge of my “NEW WINESKIN”. I am realizing that taking the time I need to figure out each step of this change is necessary. I don’t need to have it all figured out today. I just have to take it one day at a time.
HOW DO YOU MAKE THE PROCESS OF CHANGE EASIER TO HANDLE?
A heavy snow has fallen in Winchendon Massachusetts. We got about 8 more inches of heavy wet snow along with a mix of ice.
The snow has painted everything white and crystal. It is absolutely beautiful…. and dangerous.
The branches are weighted down with the heavy white stuff. Many areas of our community lost power for almost twenty four hours and some areas just to our north have been without power now for two days.
There is a word in Hebrew for glory, “chabod”. It means “the weightiness of God’s presence”….”the heaviness of God’s presence”.
As I am walking through this first season of fasting and prayer in 2023 one of the truths I have begun to see very clearly is that the work ahead of us is filled with “chabod”. It is heavy lifting. It is work that is beyond me or us. It is breakthrough in a region that currently walks with the burden of massive addiction, abuse and mental illness. I am feeling in my spirit that the time has come for the church to step up and out of its comfort zone into the place of joining with the rest of our community to address the deep needs of our region. We bring to the table the power of our God. If we do not step up or if we fail at this endeavor I sense that our community may well break, like so many of our grand trees, under the weight of these heavy burdens.
Everything in me cries for comfort from the weight of the work I see ahead and yet there is this space in my heart that is filled with an incredible sense of anticipation for the answers to so many of the prayers we have prayed over the years.
The season has changed again. We are right back to winter overnight. This is one of the warmest winters I remember. I have only worn a coat one or two days this year. Maybe it’s just my thick northern blood, but something is changing. All season we have been going back and forth between freeze and melt. Today the ground is covered with snow. Tomorrow we could be back to the mud. It’s a change.
I am currently taking part as a reader in a book launch for a friend. Poet and story teller Tracy Rittmueller has written a book of poetry entitled, Still Life, Broken and Repaired. The book is about life changes, especially those changes between life partners as aging happens. The effects of dementia on relationships is a key theme in her poetry. Right now this book is speaking to me about the plethora of changes I am walking through with my own Mom and with my life long friend Grace.
In her poem, “Healing Is a Never Ending Departure”, Tracy writes
“Life calls us to our never ending story. All is still well. Take heart, dear heart. Release, that you may heal.”
Excerpt From: Tracy Rittmueller. “Still Life, Broken and Repaired.” Apple Books.
Right now life is requiring a constant releasing. My mom’s life, Grace’s life are like this winter. Some days you get warm sunshine and all is well. Other days are filled with mud and confusion. And then there are the days where the cold chill of the future just sort of sweeps over you. Each day requires a releasing of what was and an acceptance of what is now. My world is busy and grand in its smallness. On that note I leave you with these thoughts from Tracy’s poem, “In A Cove In The Yorks, Maine, I Dare To Hope Again.”
“And so I sit here for hours intent to hear the healing beginning of another pilgrimage, any conscious progress to inspire our next, necessary transformation.”
Excerpt From: Tracy Rittmueller. “Still Life, Broken and Repaired final.” Apple Books.
I am embracing the change whatever it may be. I know God has us in the midst of it.
If you would like to read more of Tracy’s work you can find it at TracyRitmueller.com
One of my goals for 2023 is to lead my church into greater community outreach. Our missions statement is,
WHILE DOING LIFE TOGETHER
WE WILL REACH THE LOST
BY SENDING THE FOUND
AS WE DISCOVER OUR GIFTS
WE WILL CHANGE THE WORLD.
Some have suggested that the word lost is a “hot button” word. I think it’s honest. “Lostness” is a condition we humans often find ourselves in. It’s that place in life where we wonder “How’d I end up in this mess?” and conclude “I have no idea where to go from here.” In matters of faith to be lost means to be separated from God and being unable to find your way back to Him. As I said it’s an honest assessment of the human condition.
Foundness is another matter. I have learned well and paid the price of assuming everyone who goes to church is “found”. Foundness is not really about what a person does at all. It’s a condition of the heart. It’s that position of feeling centered…known…seen…and cherished. In matters of Christian faith it is that condition of having had an experience of meeting Christ and knowing that He is now with you on the journey of life no matter where you may go. This fulfills the old adage “not all who wander are lost”.
I long to bring the answer I have found to my lostness to my greater community, so that those who would choose it could walk into this thing I call Christian faith as well. As I have prayed one of the projects that has sparked my interest in partnership is a project our local library is doing in conjunction with the YMCA, the public school system and a local private school (called The Winchendon School), the local Community Action Center and a few other local organizations. It is called The One Book One Community Project.
The town is reading the graphic novel, HEY KIDDO. The library is hosting 5 town wide seminars throughout the winter and into the Spring to bring awareness of the book’s themes which are : domestic violence, trauma in the life of children, what makes a family, and issues surrounding addiction and the family.
I attended the first of the seminars last Saturday. It was so informative and challenging to me as a pastor. It both excited me and sobered me to what lies ahead. Here are a few of my take aways so far:
THE AMOUNT OF WORK BEFORE US IS ENORMOUS.
WE WILL NOT FINISH IT BY OURSELVES. IN FACT IT WILL NOT BE FINISHED WHEN JESUS COMES TO TAKE US HOME.
IT IS NOT OUR JOB TO FIX PEOPLE. WE ARE JUST HANDS EXTENDED.
WHERE WE CANNOT MEET A NEED THERE ARE OTHERS WHO CAN. WE HAVE TO BE WILLING TO PARTNER AND REFER.
I DON’T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS. BUT I KNOW WHO DOES.
Psalm 11
For the director of music. Of David.
1 In the Lord I take refuge. How then can you say to me: “Flee like a bird to your mountain. 2 For look, the wicked bend their bows; they set their arrows against the strings to shoot from the shadows at the upright in heart. 3 When the foundations are being destroyed, what can the righteous do?”
4 The Lord is in his holy temple; the Lord is on his heavenly throne. He observes everyone on earth; his eyes examine them. 5 The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion. 6 On the wicked he will rain fiery coals and burning sulfur; a scorching wind will be their lot.
7 For the Lord is righteous, he loves justice; the upright will see his face.
Notes From the Vicarage 