Being “All In” According To Brenda

J says: This term “All In” has been coming up a lot over the Easter season. We have the example of Jesus being “All in” for us. We are asking our congregations to figure out what being “All in” for Jesus means to them. I thought it would be a good idea for the ministers of the Vicarage to sound off with their definitions of the term “All in”. Maybe it will spark some interesting conversation with our on-line community.

Brenda says:

What does it mean to be all in….as a minister now a days.

I have been thinking much on the word SACRIFICE this week. Perhaps it is because it is the Passion Week. The week Jesus chose to go to the cross and sacrifice his life for mine. Perhaps it is because I am on a new life and health journey. Whatever the case the word gives me great pause, and I wrestled with it all day yesterday. I sat on my porch for 2 hours talking to the Lord about it, having trouble with words is usually not a problem for me. But this one is big…And the question that kept haunting my mind was “What are you willing to sacrifice to reach your destination/goal?” In truth I have sacrificed a lot for my work to date.

When I worked in the entertainment industry, I sacrificed time with friends and family, hours of sleep, having a relationship because I couldn’t imagine doing what I did all 12 to 14 hours a day and then coming home and having to take care of another human.

but dogs are OK.

As a missionary my choices and sacrifices have been of a similar ilk. I have sacrificed precious time with friends and family to go to another country and do the work the Lord has given me to do. I still have no significant other (and that is OK for now. I hardly ever feel lonely or alone). I have made many good friends, and frankly have a whole other family in the Netherlands that I now miss when I am away. So going home there or coming home here to the USA, I sacrifice precious time with them to go and do the work God has me to do. But the truth is I have never wanted to call it that. I have always said “I made a choice”, when in reality I am sacrificing pieces of my heart to do this work. So all that being said…what “being all in” in this season of my life mean…. It means embracing the sacrifice; being the odd man out in my family, never really fitting in like I used to. Doing what I can while I am here, knowing it is coming to an end, so don’t rock the boat too much. It means loving them enough to let them be the unit they have become, and looking in from the outside a bit and loving the time I am given with them, not wasting a minute feeling bad about it. It means keeping up with my new family in the Netherlands, staying plugged in, so when I return God can continue the work He began. Trusting God has both of my families and all my friends, near and far, in His hands and is taking good care of them. It means, embracing the work the Lord brings to my hands with joy and wonder. I will never understand why He chose me, why He sacrificed His life for mine…and so I serve Him with all I am and with all I have so that others may know the life changing, life giving love of Christ.

In this season of life, Being all in, means sacrificing my will for His, my desires for His, my life so that He may shine through it. May I forever be His conduit of hope and love

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