I am in the in-between. I am beginning to leave (my home in the Netherlands where I minister), and it is a jumble of feelings. I love the sights and smells of spring in the Netherlands.
Walking down the market street one last time doing my last errands, taking my car off the road, cancelling my insurance, talking with my landlord about logistics, I keep saying, “I have to get to this. I need to do that.”
My landlord keeps saying,”Slow down, I will take care of what you can not.”
It reminds me of the words in Scripture, “Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and learn from me, take my yoke upon you ; my yoke is easy and my burden light.”
SO in the rush and hurry of beginning to leave I remember to slow down, and breathe in these precious last moments with my friends and colleagues and of this land I have grown to love and call my home.
I wrote this yesterday:
I woke up with a thought today about leaving. It is hard, full of emotions, this hurtling into the future and the unknown, but I would never want it to be easy. It being difficult and sad and hard means I have loved and am loved. I have done my job as a human being. If this transition were easy, if it felt like I was losing nothing, (and I know this from experience) then love would be missing. I would much rather be hurt by loving too much than loving too little. Leaving should never be easy. That is just my thought for the day as I journey ever closer to the unknown.